Friday, May 28, 2010

1, 2, 3, SHALOM :)

Here I am! Back from the holy land. Israel was fantastic as usual :) full of fun, food, Hebrew, sexy Israelis, and CAMELS!

I missed yall! I didn’t forget about you :) during one of our long bus rides, I was thinking about how I could do a fun post that would break down exactly what goes into one of these long, exhausting, exhilarating, amazing trips throughout Israel. So, without further ado, here we go - Israel, By the Numbers!

10 - days spent in my favorite country in the world

39 - fantastic participants from LA, ready to see Israel and all it has to offer!

8 - amazing Israeli soldiers who accompanied us on our journey

1 - AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING tour guide. Shachar, I worship you.

1 - hilarious co-counselor who I’ve known since elementary school. Kev, you make me laugh.

3 - nights out in Tiberias, Tel Aviv, and Jerusalem

0 - alcohol consumed (life’s rough as a chaperone... don’t worry, I still managed to have fun)

4 - number of Magnum Gold ice cream pops eaten on bus stops

6 - bags of Bissili consumed during the trip

2000 - cost in shekels of the piece of art I bought in Tzfat

5 - times I’ve gone to look at this piece of art while in Tzfat. And now I finally own it!

8 - days spent dreading the hike up Masada

5 - hour of the morning we hiked up Masada

45 - prediction of how many minutes it would take me to hike Masada

22 - actual number of minutes it took me to hike Masada

22 - number of minutes I complained whilst hiking Masada

6 - minutes of the sunrise we saw while at the top of Masada

18 - shekels it cost for the gondola ride down Masada (fuck if I was hiking back down. NO SIR.)

2 - diet cokes I consumed upon arrival at the Masada gift shop

3 - pans of shakshuka consumed at Dr. Shakshuka in Jaffa (ok fine, I shared with others but still)

1 - Shabbat spent on the beach in Tel Aviv

2 - Israelis who mistook me for an Israeli counselor and spoke to me in Hebrew. Overjoyed does not even describe it.

1 - night spent accidentally sleeping in the West Bank

2 - armed guards who accompanied us during our stay in the West Bank

3 - reunions with my favorite men in Israel: love you Ran, Guy, and Evan!

16 - approximate number of times I was asked by participants if the above gentlemen were my boyfriends

3 - phones I carried throughout Israel crammed into my purse: my Blackberry, my personal Israeli phone, and the bus phone

1 - night spent in a Bedouin village

0 - hours of sleep in the Bedouin village

15 - minutes spent on top of a camel

14 - minutes spent screaming in terror/joy on top of a camel

1 - incident of Israeli road rage in which our bus driver went nuts at the car in front of him

2 - rocks he picked up and threw at the car once he had fled the bus for the fight

3 - participants who screamed “GET THE GUN!” during the fight

10 - feet I flew down the aisle of the bus after the bus driver braked suddenly, causing me to literally skid halfway through the bus

5 - seconds of stunned silence on the bus while everyone tried to figure out if I was conscious or possibly dead

7 - number of bruises on my body due to the bus incident

10 - useful new words learned in Hebrew (trashcan, may I please have an English menu)

3 - useless new words learned in Hebrew (tadpole, dragonfly)

4 - falafel and shnitzel pitas consumed throughout the country

1 - serious marriage proposal from a falafel salesman in the shuk in Jerusalem. I shit you not.

0 - the amount of English he spoke

And here are a few more recapping my morning....

1 - hour unpacking my suitcases (plural)

211 - emails waiting for me upon my return home

2 - entire hours checking said emails

0 - edible things in my refrigerator, leaving me totally screwed in the lunch department

61 - shows recorded on my Tivo. I need to get on that, STAT!

So, there you have it. Israel by the numbers! LOVE IT. Can’t wait to go again. Every time I return, I tell my parents that I’m moving there. One of these days, I’m just gonna do it. Does Queen of Jerusalem have the same ring as Queen of LA?

I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend! I’m heading to Newport tomorrow for the long weekend, but I’m bringing my computer with me since the parentals finally decided it was time to get internet down there. I’ll be blogging from the beach starting tomorrow! XOXO.


Aliya Slepkov said...

My FAVORITE post by far. Loved it.
Howeven,iIf you do decide to move to Jerusalem, you will have to chance your title, as Queen of Jerusalem is taken.
Leshanah haba'ah beyerushalayim!

Anonymous said...

how about 12 days til the jac finally comes back to LA...


I believe this might be the best posting you have ever written - if you move to Israel I will bring ever group of American Jews I take there to go on personal tours with you!!!