Friday, November 12, 2010


Okay. Just popping in to share this week’s story about what a moron I am. (I know you people love that shit – my most popular posts are the ones where skunks seek refuge underneath my car or where I spill powdered sugar all down the front of my new black blouse.)

So. On Monday night I started feeling sick. My head hurt, my body was super achy, and the joints in my wrists and knees were killing me, a surefire sign that illness was on the way. Another surefire sign of illness? Temperature issues, AKA, being so cold you wear your Northface in the house. (I almost slept with it on.)

On Tuesday, I woke up and went to work. About halfway through the day, my boss told me to stop being dumb and to go home. On the way home I called Gerrick, who, besides being my bestie, is also a nurse, and asked her what medicine I should get at the pharmacy. She recommended a few things, and I stopped at Long’s, bought some Theraflu and a Jamba Juice, and went home to sleep.

Wednesday morning I woke up feeling a little better. My body wasn’t so achy and my headache hurt less, but I was still having insane body temperature issues. I woke up freezing cold and had to put on an extra pair of socks, but by the time I was dressed and ready to leave, I was so hot that I had to roll down the windows in my car.

As the day went on, I started to feel much better, with the exception of my random temperature fluctuations. I was so hot I was literally walking around my office in a tank top. Forget a hot cup of tea from Starbucks, I was gulping down a huge iced Crystal Light lemonade and fanning myself off with brochures.

At lunchtime, I headed down to Trimana with RF to get a cup of soup. It was around 12pm, and I hadn’t taken any medicine since I woke up. I was in the middle of telling her about my freakish quasi-menopausal tendencies when I pulled out the Theraflu and started unwrapping the pills.

“Um... wait. Do you think maybe that has to do with why you're so hot?” said brilliant RF, and pointed to the medicine in my hand.

You guys:

Yes. Your eyes are not deceiving you. The reason I had been suffering from INSANE body temperature issues is because I had been taking PILLS THAT MAKE MY BODY HOTTER. I do believe these pills are meant for old people who wear cardigans and bunny slippers 24-7; I however am a naturally hot blooded individual WHO HAS NO BUSINESS TAKING SUCH THINGS.

I am such an idiot. Please, laugh at me and my stupid mistake. Everyone else has :)

My dumb, non-feverish body is actually in New York this weekend for some family time. Here's hoping you have a nice relaxing weekend full of HEALTH! See you next week.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

haha that's awesome!