Last week, my sister called. “Hi, what are you doing?” she asked.
“Working on my Hanukkah list to give to the parentals,” I said.
“WHAT! I want to do one this year,” she said. “How does it work? Do they get us everything we ask for?”
I laughed in her face. “No, Bailey, they do not get us everything we ask for,” I told her. “In previous years I’ve asked for things like ponies and cars and helicopter rides. Use some restraint.”
“Oh. In that case, I think I’m gonna ask for a pair of Chanel ballet flats and call it a day,” she said.
“Enjoy that,” I said. “You’ll be the one crying on seven other nights when you have nothing fun to unwrap!”
She’s an amateur. I, on the other hand, am not. So here we are. Time for the unveiling of the 3rd annual Jordan Marisa Rose Hanukkah Gift Wish List. If you’re new here, read this first before proceeding any further. All caught up? Good.
This list was emailed directly to my parents earlier today. I have yet to receive any screaming phone calls or emails, so either a) no one has opened their email yet, or b) they think I have absolutely lost my shit and are scared to even respond. Both plausible.
This is what greeted them in their inboxes...
My dear parentals,
Can it be true? Another year has gone by already? Why, it is already December – how quickly time flies when you are having fun!
I know you have been eagerly anticipating receiving this list – how could you not, when I happily bring it up at every possible opportunity?
This is the third year in a row you have received such a comprehensive list, and I know by now you are well-versed in how it goes, but just in case: if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, I am available at (818) XXX-XXXX. If your questions, comments, or suggestions fall between the hours of 12am midnight - 8am, I invite you to call my assistant, Bailey Janna, at (818) XXX-XXXX. She is more than happy to answer any questions pertaining to purchases on this list.
I greatly appreciate your love and support this holiday season. It is a pleasure, as always, doing business with you. But enough talking. Let’s get to the goods.
Without further ado…The 2010 Jordan Marisa Rose Hanukkah List!
1. Ipad - available at Apple stores nationwide
3. Gucci Retro Inspired Cat Eye sunglasses, black with gold trim
4. Tassel keychain, pink leather or purple suede
Please note: gift cards to any of the following retail establishments - Bloomingdales, Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Anthropologie, Gap, J.Crew, or Barneys - are always welcomed and appreciated.
Please note: items on this list do not HAVE to come from my parents. Gifts are welcomed from anyone – friends, lovers, perfect strangers who found Queen of LA on the internet by Googling “sparkle hair extensions” (my most searched term). By all means, feel free to bestow presents upon me!
Hanukkah is just a few days away... I can't wait!