Monday, May 31, 2010

Every Girl Should Have A Jacob

I’m a lucky girl -- I’ve got a lot of girlfriends. I may be slightly biased, but I think they’re pretty fucking fantastic -- probably the best ones in the world.

My girlfriends are amazing. They patiently accompany me to the mall for hours while I search for the exact right beige blazer. They sit for hours on the phone when I whine about my boy issues (AHEM JDate) or, let’s face it, lack thereof. They come over to watch the Oscars with me and agree to not speak except during commercials. They tell their coworkers, parents, roommates and boyfriends about my blog, and make all those people add it to their Favorites or Bookmarks. They post random funny stories on my Facebook page when I’m having a bad day, just to make me laugh. They don’t cover their ears or walk away when I start singing Glee or Lady Gaga. They’re amazing.

I believe that every girl should have the type of girlfriends that I have. But I also believe that every girl should have a best guy friend. If she’s lucky, she’ll have more than one, and if she’s really lucky, she’ll have a whole group of them. But at the very least, she’s got to have one.

This is Jacob. Isn’t he cute?

Jacob and I have been friends since college. He lives in Memphis, and has the thickest southern accent of anyone I know. And, of course, he’s my best guy friend.

He’s my go-to whenever I have any sort of boy problem, dilemma, or question. He knows how to fix my ipod from halfway across the country. He sends me hilarious links to Youtube videos and knows all words to all the newest rap songs. He tried to surprise me in Tucson for my 21st birthday party, and when his flight got canceled, he flew to three different states trying to make it to the party in time.

He finds obscure radio stations that play hits from the nineties and sends me the link so I can listen to Matchbox 20, Britney Spears, and Destiny’s Child all day long. He sends his family links to the articles I write because he is proud of me. He was the very first one to join the Queen of LA Facebook page. He tries to teach me about the stock market using terms that I understand, and he doesn’t even get mad when six minutes into the explanation, I get bored and start talking about Modern Family instead.

He’s funny and smart and loves In&Out -- he’s a great catch, all ladies who read this blog! And in TEN DAYS, he is coming to visit!!!!

Every girl should be lucky enough to have a Jacob :)

Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Little Carrie'd Away

Friday night was the night. I ignored the jetlag, put on my sassy Topshop blazer, and headed out with Greene and Anna to see Sex and the City 2! After a brief fight with a gay on our way in and another small argument with the popcorn man, we settled into our seats. We were SO EXCITED!

And after all that? I liked it. I didn’t love it. I liked it. It was SO GOOD to see the girls - it sounds cheesy, but at this point, the audience is so comfortable with Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha, that it truly does feel like you’re seeing old friends. But the plot was just eh - cliche and in my opinion, predictable. I felt like the script was just going along, checking things off. Scene of Samantha having sex? Check. Scene of Miranda at her law firm? Check. Scene of Charlotte being prissy? Check. Scene of Carrie having man drama? Check.

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy myself. My favorite scenes? Stanford and Anthony’s wedding (NOTHIN like a gay wedding) with LIZAAAAAA (ruler of the gays) and the karaoke scene when all four ladies sang “I Am Woman” (I’m a sucker for a good karaoke scene).

And the clothes. OH, the clothes! In my opinion, SATC really stands for Show All The Clothes! It was seriously a feast for the eyes:

Behold Carrie, in one of my favorite pieces from the movie. (Just found this dress at Bloomingdales... ahem, possible birthday dress?! Thoughts? Should I go for it?! LOOK HOW CUTE IT IS!)

Here’s the deal. If you loved the show and the first movie, go see it. It will be good to see the girls again, and you won’t be bored for even half a second with the parade of shiny, glittery, dazzling, extravagant clothes, shoes, and bags marching across the screen. But don’t expect anything life changing. It seems by now, the ladies are who they are - they won’t be doing anything wild, crazy, or out of the ordinary anymore, which, in hindsight, is a bit of a letdown when you take into consideration that these are the same women who, just a few years ago, burst onto the scene and made everyone take notice by being so outspoken, so extraordinary, so out of the box.

Because after all, isn’t that why we love them so much?

Friday, May 28, 2010

1, 2, 3, SHALOM :)

Here I am! Back from the holy land. Israel was fantastic as usual :) full of fun, food, Hebrew, sexy Israelis, and CAMELS!

I missed yall! I didn’t forget about you :) during one of our long bus rides, I was thinking about how I could do a fun post that would break down exactly what goes into one of these long, exhausting, exhilarating, amazing trips throughout Israel. So, without further ado, here we go - Israel, By the Numbers!

10 - days spent in my favorite country in the world

39 - fantastic participants from LA, ready to see Israel and all it has to offer!

8 - amazing Israeli soldiers who accompanied us on our journey

1 - AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING tour guide. Shachar, I worship you.

1 - hilarious co-counselor who I’ve known since elementary school. Kev, you make me laugh.

3 - nights out in Tiberias, Tel Aviv, and Jerusalem

0 - alcohol consumed (life’s rough as a chaperone... don’t worry, I still managed to have fun)

4 - number of Magnum Gold ice cream pops eaten on bus stops

6 - bags of Bissili consumed during the trip

2000 - cost in shekels of the piece of art I bought in Tzfat

5 - times I’ve gone to look at this piece of art while in Tzfat. And now I finally own it!

8 - days spent dreading the hike up Masada

5 - hour of the morning we hiked up Masada

45 - prediction of how many minutes it would take me to hike Masada

22 - actual number of minutes it took me to hike Masada

22 - number of minutes I complained whilst hiking Masada

6 - minutes of the sunrise we saw while at the top of Masada

18 - shekels it cost for the gondola ride down Masada (fuck if I was hiking back down. NO SIR.)

2 - diet cokes I consumed upon arrival at the Masada gift shop

3 - pans of shakshuka consumed at Dr. Shakshuka in Jaffa (ok fine, I shared with others but still)

1 - Shabbat spent on the beach in Tel Aviv

2 - Israelis who mistook me for an Israeli counselor and spoke to me in Hebrew. Overjoyed does not even describe it.

1 - night spent accidentally sleeping in the West Bank

2 - armed guards who accompanied us during our stay in the West Bank

3 - reunions with my favorite men in Israel: love you Ran, Guy, and Evan!

16 - approximate number of times I was asked by participants if the above gentlemen were my boyfriends

3 - phones I carried throughout Israel crammed into my purse: my Blackberry, my personal Israeli phone, and the bus phone

1 - night spent in a Bedouin village

0 - hours of sleep in the Bedouin village

15 - minutes spent on top of a camel

14 - minutes spent screaming in terror/joy on top of a camel

1 - incident of Israeli road rage in which our bus driver went nuts at the car in front of him

2 - rocks he picked up and threw at the car once he had fled the bus for the fight

3 - participants who screamed “GET THE GUN!” during the fight

10 - feet I flew down the aisle of the bus after the bus driver braked suddenly, causing me to literally skid halfway through the bus

5 - seconds of stunned silence on the bus while everyone tried to figure out if I was conscious or possibly dead

7 - number of bruises on my body due to the bus incident

10 - useful new words learned in Hebrew (trashcan, may I please have an English menu)

3 - useless new words learned in Hebrew (tadpole, dragonfly)

4 - falafel and shnitzel pitas consumed throughout the country

1 - serious marriage proposal from a falafel salesman in the shuk in Jerusalem. I shit you not.

0 - the amount of English he spoke

And here are a few more recapping my morning....

1 - hour unpacking my suitcases (plural)

211 - emails waiting for me upon my return home

2 - entire hours checking said emails

0 - edible things in my refrigerator, leaving me totally screwed in the lunch department

61 - shows recorded on my Tivo. I need to get on that, STAT!

So, there you have it. Israel by the numbers! LOVE IT. Can’t wait to go again. Every time I return, I tell my parents that I’m moving there. One of these days, I’m just gonna do it. Does Queen of Jerusalem have the same ring as Queen of LA?

I hope you all have a great Memorial Day weekend! I’m heading to Newport tomorrow for the long weekend, but I’m bringing my computer with me since the parentals finally decided it was time to get internet down there. I’ll be blogging from the beach starting tomorrow! XOXO.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Wrapped in Pink

I’m almost home from my trip! In a few days, we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming. I know you are all breathing huge sighs of relief that someone will finally be back to provide you with regular updates on trashy TV, my recent purchases involving sparkle or glitter, and of course, pink things.

Have you ever heard of Chan Luu jewelry? I have a friend who worked there for a while, and she introduced me to the company. They make lots of different things, but are famous for their wrap bracelets!

I am the proud owner of several Chan Luu wraps -- this one and this one -- but there’s always room in my jewelry box for more :) like one in PINK!

So gorgeous and perfect for summer! But let’s be honest... I would totally rock it year-round. Wouldn’t you?

See ya’ll soon! Hope you didn’t miss me too much!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Tutu Pretty

May 9th, 2007. Three days away from college graduation. Our parents were arriving the next day.

I lived in a five bedroom house, eight blocks away from campus, with four of my best friends and sorority sisters. (I also want to mention our rent was $430 a month. FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS A MONTH. That’s like what I spent on shoes last month. SHIT.)

Anyways, I digress. It was the night before our families arrived, and the house was somewhat of a mess (I vaguely recall a smoothie taste test taking place at around 2:00am in our kitchen). My roommate Anna, who is insanely responsible, ridiculously polite, and somewhat of a clean freak, did not want our familiar arriving to a messy house. She took charge.

“I’M CLEANING UP THE LIVING ROOM!” she called. “Everyone come get your stuff!”

I can only assume none of us emerged from our respective bedrooms, so she started naming names.

“GERRICK! Your backpack is on the floor. COME GET IT!”

“GREENE! You have mail on the counter. COME GET IT!”

“LAURA! Your sweatshirt is on the couch. COME GET IT!”

And finally:

“JORDAN! Come out here NOW! Your cape is on the floor. Your magic wand is behind the TV. Your tiara is on top of the fridge. And your tutu is collecting dust in the corner. COME GET IT OR I’M THROWING IT OUT!”

Throw out my costumes!? I immediately scampered out to retrieve my stuff.

It’s been three years since that day. I have retired my cape. I no longer carry around my wand. My tiara sits on my desk, still sparkly but a little dusty.

But I do still have a love for tutus. And for summer, I’m setting my sights on wearing one -- or, at least, a version of one. Wouldn’t these be fabulous?

Too pretty -- or should I say tutu pretty? Perfect for a grown-up wannabe ballerina like me :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Statement Pink!

Good morning ya’ll! As promised, here I am -- I decided that it’s not YOUR fault that I travel so much. It makes me sooo happy when people tell me they read Queen of LA everyday - I love being a part of your day!

I wouldn’t want to leave you without your weekly fix of pink. So here’s this week’s feature!

I LOVE STATEMENT NECKLACES. Because, you know, I like to make statements. (That reminds me to do a post on all my statement necklaces that I own -- you’ll love them. So perfect with a plain white or black top or dress.)

Anyways, I saw this one once in Nordstrom on a mannequin and freaked out -- took it off and tried it on and immediately wanted it. Unfortunately, the one that I was trying on was a little ragged-y looking, and it was the only one left! I sadly put it down, and of course, never saw it again :(

But it all ends well! I was flipping through People magazine a few weeks ago and lo and behold, there was the necklace. I didn’t remember the price being so reasonable -- only $38!

If pink isn’t your thing, it also comes in black, grey, lavender, orange, blush, red, turquoise, white and yellow. But if pink isn’t your thing... what are you doing here?

Kidding! But seriously. Everything looks better in pink. :)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Dr. Pepper, You Make the World Taste Better

I am just going to state right upfront that I realize this post is super random and that a lot of you are going to think I am a major weirdo. Commencing anyways.

Last month, while at lunch with my dear friend Cara, we randomly started talking about beauty products we love and have used forever. Even though I grew up here in sunny Los Angeles and she is from the far off land of Canada, we quickly realized that as teenagers, we both had the same obsession....


Um, I was obsessed. In middle school, every Tuesday, my friend Brynn would come home with me after school and after being dropped off by my carpool, we would walk the 10-minute walk to get a Jamba Juice (shout out for my Peach Pleasure) and then hit up Savon (for all you southerners -- Savon is the same thing as Walgreens). On every trip, we would each buy a little treat (usually makeup - hello, we were 12) and on one occasion, stumbled upon this: the DR. PEPPER LIP SMACKER.

(Side-note: anyone else remember the Dr. Pepper commercial where they sang the song that I used for my title here? If you do, belated apologies for getting it stuck in your head for the rest of the day.)

Naturally, we quickly finished our meal and rushed off to the drugstore to purchase them again! Unfortunately, both drugstores we went to didn’t carry the Bonne Bell line, which saddened us, but yesterday when I was at Target (sneaking things into my mom’s cart so she would buy them for me), I looked up and there they were! I tossed the chubby push-up Dr. Pepper tube in my cart and bought Cara the three-pack (with gloss!) as a little surprise treat.

I am happy to announce they still taste the same, still give your lips a hint of pretty red color, and yes, I still lick mine off and have to reapply. Guess you never really grow up :)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Shalom Again!

SO. Israel tomorrow! For the third time in 4 months. And one more at the end of June. CRAZY.

At this point, it’s not even hard to pack anymore! And for me to say that is a HUGE deal. Usually, just packing for a weekend trip involves screaming, fourteen different ensemble options, and a full arsenal of hair tools. Now, I just throw it in the ginormous turquoise suitcase and go.

Since it’s almost summer, this trip is going to be hot hot hot. I actually had to go out and buy shorts. (If you’re curious, I got these and these and these from Gap.) Despite my years sweating in the desert while at UofA, I am not fond of hot weather. So, just in case, I brushed up on how to say “I am going to faint” and “The sun makes me want to die.” Since Birthright requires everyone to wear a hat and closed-toed shoes (UGH!) I also packed this adorable little fedora, which I stole from my sister’s closet (thanks Bay!) and these espadrilles from Target.

Anyways, I know you will all miss me tons. BUT, because I am such a devoted little blogger, I have scheduled several posts to appear while I am gone! Yes, after figuring it out for the MOTL, I decided why not do a few for these ten days also? So, I hope you enjoy. And if you enjoy, LEAVE A COMMENT.

(May I remind you that I LOVE COMMENTS? Remember, there is a real person on the other side of this computer. Her name is Jordan, and she enjoys shoes, the color pink, making fun of people, and receiving comments from readers. You guys, I get an email whenever someone leaves one, and it seriously fills me with glee (the emotion, not the show). And, as a brief reminder, kindly leave your name as well. Otherwise, I have no idea who it is writing me about their purchase of the Lean Cuisines I so highly recommended. True story.)

Also: if I get back from Israel and Casey James is the next American Idol, I swear I am going to vom all over America. If this happens, someone please alert me via email or facebook message so I can emotionally prepare myself to watch the Tivoed finale.

EW. does this look like the face of an idol to you?!

That is all. I will miss you all. Check back often for those new posts! And SHALOM!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Jimmy Kimmel, Delicious Pizza, and a Mazel Tov

Good morning. Today I woke up to these frantic gchats:

Stacy: where is this mornings update?!

10:28 AM

me: whoa. chill

i dont always update in the mornings

10:29 AM

Stacy: its like my coffee in the morning jord

me: well im caffeine free brach so i dont know how that goes


So it’s Friday! Yay weekend. Except I am leaving to staff my first Birthright trip on Sunday and you know what that means - hauling out the enormous turquoise suitcase and packing again. For someone who travels so much, I HATE packing. One of these days I’ll document the process so you can see exactly how insane I can be.

Last night, I did something cool -- I went to the Jimmy Kimmel taping in Hollywood! My friend Blair invited me, and we went with her cousin and his girlfriend. The guests last night were Ryan Phillipe (hot), Beth Ostrovsky Stern (Howard Stern’s wife, dumb as rocks), and a band called the Dirty Heads (no idea who they were.)


  • I desperately needed to pee and begged the usher to let me go before the show started. He showed me the way downstairs and I ran like the wind. As soon as I got downstairs, I bumped into someone. “Oh, sorry,” I said, ignoring the person as I ran. “It’s okay,” said Ryan Phillippe. YES. I BUMPED INTO THE SPECIAL GUEST. AND DIDNT EVEN NOTICE. OR CARE.
  • BOTH Ryan Phillipe and Beth Ostrovsky Stern dropped the F-bomb on TV. As someone who adores the word fuck, I found this very entertaining.
  • In the middle of the taping, the ceiling started leaking. Two poor girls had to sit underneath an umbrella for the remainder of the show. At first I was happy that I wasn’t being rained upon, but then I was jealous because they got a special shout out from JK (who, by the way, was wearing a black suit with brown shoes. Not okay.)

After dinner, we went to one of my all-time favorite places for a late late dinner - Pizzeria Mozza! Even though we didn’t have a reservation, I shmoozed the host and we ended up with a table :) shout out to Lance. For those of you who have never been to Mozza, please go! The pizzas are out of this world.

I ordered the Mozza Caprese (all the cheese is made on site and is out of this world, seriously one of the best I’ve ever had with basil pesto and charred tomatoes on the vine) and the leek/garlic/bacon/goat cheese pizza. Blair ordered the chopped salad (which was so full of meat and cheese that even I liked it) and the speck/bufala/olive tapenade pizza. We swapped each other a piece of our pizzas - YUM. And, of course, we ended with the butterscotch budino for dessert. Now, I was super full, but knew I would regret not ordering it if I didn’t, so we ordered it. People, it is seriously the best dessert in LA. Butterscotch pudding, thick butterscotch syrup, fleur de sel and creme fraiche on top, with two rosemary cookies on the side? I can’t think of anything I’d rather have.

So there’s your update, Stace. And everyone else :) but wait, I’m not done yet! Today is a VERY SPECIAL DAY and I want to make sure everyone knows it.

Tonight, after two looooong years and a loooottttt of hard work, my best friend Rebecca Gerrick will graduate from nursing school!

She is going to be an RN! (I think that means Real Nurse but apparently I’m wrong.) AND, she just found out yesterday that she is going to be a nurse in the ICU -- unheard of for a new graduate! She has worked so hard, studied so long, and given up on a lot of things to make this dream come true for herself, and the end is finally here. As a special surprise, I rallied the troops together, and Julie, Stacy, Anna, Joy, Greene, Floff, Carly, Bragman and I surprised her with these shoes as a graduation gift:

Look how cute she is in her little nursing hat!