Friday, February 4, 2011

I Have A Stalker. Two, To Be Exact.

This is going to seem like the weirdest post in the world but I just need yall to go with it. Thanks in advance.


So, I love to blog, right? Lots of funny and strange things happen to me and it’s nice having a journal of sorts to write them down and capture them so I can go back in a few years and read through and laugh at my adventures. Not to mention I like clothing and food and traveling and a blog is the perfect place to post pictures of imaginary clothes I’m buying, meals I’m eating, and trips I’m taking.


I also have wonderful readers who like the posts I come up with and look forward to them, sometimes commenting or messaging or Tweeting me to tell me about how much they enjoy what I write. Most of those readers are perfectly understanding of the fact that I do, in fact, have a full-time job, and a social life, and that sometimes there is not always going to be a post every day. MOST of these readers understand.


But there are two who do not.


What I am basically trying to tell you is this: I have two stalkers. Their names are Stacy and Robin and though they may live thousands of miles apart from each other (Stacy lives in Denver and Robin lives in NYC), they team up each and every day to communicate their needs and desires regarding my blog in, shall we say, a somewhat over-the-top and threatening manner.


do not be fooled. they look like innocent dancing ballerinas, but truly, they are the twin terrors of alabama


Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE that they are fans. Their rabid, insanely enthusiastic thirst for all things Queen of LA can be extremely entertaining. But the days when there is no post to satiate their craving? Oh, it is a scary day to be the Queen.


A sampling of some Twitter threats:





A sampling of some Gchat conversations:


Stacy: are u okay?!

me: ???

Stacy: no blog update in 2 days!

me: haha. get over it

Stacy: no way

im an avid follower

i need my updates

Stacy: thats not acceptable


Stacy: ive been checking back all day for a new blog post. but no. nothing

WTF


Stacy: so, about the blog for tomorrow

is it going to be abut your weekend

me: yes

assuming i get internet

seriously im not making it up, don’t get mad

i have no internet

Stacy: its not about being mad jordan

its about not being disappointed

me: well, bracha

i am disappointed too

disappointed in time warner

Stacy: UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH

ill hold back tears

me: pull it together bracha

Stacy: ok ok im trying


Literally as I write this post, the two of them have teamed up and ambushed me in a group Gchat.


Stacy: back to the post about me and robin. when exactly is that happening

me: if i said tomorrow, would that be too specific?

Stacy: WAHOO

WAHOO

WAHOO

I DONT THIK I CAN WORK ANYMORE TODAY

Robin: OMFG

OMFG

OH THANK THE LORD BABY JESUS


I haven’t put a stop to their behavior yet but Lord help me the day I go out of town and don’t have access to a computer for two weeks (hint: coming in April). Those two sassy Southern stalkers won’t know what to do with themselves!


(Please note: this whole post is in jest. The part of me that desperately adores and craves attention LOVES their behavior. Thank you, Stacy and Robin, for being such fantastic fans of Queen of LA. Have a great weekend everyone!)



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

FOMO!!

Grace said...

this post had me dying laughing. hysterical.