Monday, August 8, 2011

Animal Adventures

Hi! Hope you all had a lovely week. I did not mean to take such a prolonged absence but I got a nasty cold and a bit of the flu last week and was down for the count for several days. I still have a bad cough but it didn’t stop me from having as much fun as I possibly could this weekend... at the ZOO!

Yes, the zoo! On Friday night, Rami and I were trying to think of something fun and unusual to do the next day - I don’t remember which one of us came up with the idea, but once the zoo was suggested it was all over: WE WERE GOING TO THE ZOO!

Saturday afternoon we headed on out! Neither of us had been to the zoo in many years and we both remembered it being super far away, but it really was only about 15 minutes on the freeway - which apparently FEELS super far away when you are a child.

From the moment we got out of the car, my sweet normal 28 year-old boyfriend transformed into a small boy, excitedly pulling on my hand to get me to hurry up and walk faster, freaking out whilst pointing at things, and at times RACING ahead of me in his haste to see as many animals as he possible could. It was possibly the most adorable thing of all time. (Apparently he used to go to the zoo all the time as a little boy - to the point where his parents used to ask their friends to take him with them because they themselves could not bear to go anymore.)

Here he is admiring his favorite animal, the coatimundi, which I now know is a member of the raccoon family:

And here is a lovely (rather professional-esque if I do say so myself) shot of my favorite animal, the GIRAFFES! My sorority mascot is the giraffe because they stand heads above all other animals and they have the largest hearts too. Shout out to AEPhi :)

Now let’s get serious about a few things. As a small child, the zoo is awesome because animals are basically the coolest thing ever to a little kid AND you usually get a treat if you’re good, like a churro. But when you’re an adult, the zoo is even BETTER, because in ADDITION to getting a churro, you also get to see what’s REALLY happening in those cages: SEX. LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX.

Don’t believe me? Here, enjoy this photo of two okapis FUCKING! Yes, we were minding our own business looking at the okapis (cannot explain what they are, click the link) when we noticed the male okapi nuzzling the lady okapi. Despite her not being down AT ALL (she delivered a few kicks to her mate which did not deter him in the slightest), before we knew it there was some actual mounting and real live okapi sex happening before our very eyes. Not going to lie, we stood TRANSFIXED for at least ten minutes.

We also were privileged enough to view another gross thing: while peering into the gorilla enclosure, we saw one of the MASSIVE beasts casually lean up against the rock wall, vomit into his own hand, and proceed to eat his vom.

SO GROSS. We laughed and laughed until the sight of the silverback gorilla - roughly the size of a small car - shut us up. As someone who refuses to even watch the PREVIEWS for Return of the Planet of the Apes, you have no idea how much this thing scared me.

I saved the best for last - I almost can’t believe this happened and I KNOW no one else would believe it too if we didn’t have the photo as evidence. We were admiring the zebras and their beautiful coats when Rami noticed something odd was happening to the male zebra. Can you tell?

YES FRIENDS, that is a THREE FOOT LONG ZEBRA ERECTION STARING YOU IN THE FACE. I am laughing just typing this. Have you ever seen anything so enormous in your entire life?! At first we thought it was a snake eating his stomach! Suffice it to say, the lady zebras were in the corner staying far, far away from that thing and Rami and I laughed until we almost wet our pants.

You guys. THE ZOO IS AWESOME. We also got to see seals, flamingos, all kinds of monkeys and apes, tigers, elephants, hippos, kangaroos, a leopard, and an adorable black bear. I highly recommend going if you live in LA. And even if you don’t, go anyway! It was such a fun date and I can’t wait til we go again (I told Rami we could go again in a couple months and he has been telling everyone we see: “We are going back in October! You can come with us if you want!”)

Plus, there’s always the chance you get to see animals doing it :) what could be more romantic?


Dana Oloff said...

dying over this blog. also a little disturbed by the biggest boner I have ever seen. SICK

Madjaques. said...

Is there an elephant exhibit? Those beasts are pretty smart and sometimes fly back to Africa.

fifi said...

omg!!! i cannot stop laughing!!!

Carolina Charm said...

wow - holy zebra! hilarious.