West Virginia Does Not Exist

If you’re gonna read this blog, I want to be upfront about a few things. I’ve got some strong opinions, and this blog is my place to share them. For example, I believe in gay rights. I believe in a woman’s right to choose. I believe in universal healthcare.

I also believe West Virginia is not a state.

Have you EVER met ANYONE who hails from West Virginia? I would bet $10 that says NO, you have not. I certainly haven't. It is a mythical land. It’s only drawn on the map because 50 states sounds better than 49.

I developed this theory sometime during my college years - can’t remember when or why, but I’ve been a staunch (dis)believer ever since. One time, sitting in the AEPhi kitchen with some friends, I called every person in my cell phone and asked them their opinion. A LARGE number of people were unsure of whether or not it was a state, which only served to make me feel justified in my belief. Ever since then, I remained confident in my beliefs.

Until one day, about a month ago. I accidentally let it this little belief of mine slip while on the bus on Birthright. Everyone laughed - including my friend Dave, who then reached into his pocket and pulled out this:

Faced with this evidence, I must admit the argument for the existence of the state is rather compelling.

Move Along, Vegetarians

So, a week ago, Jonathan Gold came out with this list - 99 Things To Eat in LA Before You Die. Since I love Jonathan Gold (and food in general), you better believe I clicked that link as fast as my (freakishly miniature) hands would go. And I read. I read and read and read, and drooled a little bit, and on a little piece of paper, marked off the ones that I have personally consumed.

Of the 99, I have eaten 12 - somewhat embarrassing for someone who considers herself an expert on all L.A. foodstuffs. But perhaps more embarrassing, however, is the food on the actual list. If you're hungry, I'd suggest stopping now.

1. Fab LA’s Street Dog - tastes exactly like the hot dogs served at Bruce Dogs, a high-class street-cart institution located outside a strip club in lovely Tucson, Arizona.
2. Kogi Kalbi Taco - I’ve blogged about my love for the Kogi Truck before. Read this.
3. Langer’s Pastrami
4. Phillipe’s French Dip - I have been going to Philippe’s ever since I was a little girl and my dad would take Bay and I downtown on the train. I was probably the only six year old ordering lamb.
5. Hot Dog on a Stick
6. Mozza Pizza
7. Lawry’s Prime Rib
8. Animal’s Foie Gras & Biscuits and Gravy - if you like meat, run, don’t walk, to Animal.
9. Baycities Godmother
10. Din Tai Fung's Soup Dumplings - if anyone is ever in the mood to trek down to Arcadia on a weekend morning to stuff themselves with dumplings, kindly call me so I can hop in your car, please.
11. Hungry Cat's Lobster Roll
12. Huckleberry's Maple-Bacon Biscuits

ANYONE SEE A COMMON THEME HERE?! With the exception of the Hungry Cat Lobster Roll, they’re ALL MEAT!

That both upsets and exhilarates me. I once dated a human being who ate more meat than anyone I have ever met - every single meal of his contained some sort of dead animal - and while at the time I professed to find this gross and would wonder aloud about his cholesterol level, secretly I was impressed with his level of devotion to the Anti-Vegetarian cause.

Let’s dig deeper in the list, shall we? Surprise, surprise, we’ve got two hot dogs (given my love for tubular meats, this is unsurprising). We’ve got four sandwiches, which is also unsurprising, given that I am a Major Fan of Bread. We’ve got quite a bit of the other white meat, regarding which I will just say, I am glad my father does not read my blog, as he would NOT like that very much and probably give me a lecture whilst I sulked in the corner of his office.

In short, I will say that apparently Los Angeles is an amazing place to eat if you are not a vegetarian. Every single item on my list is delicious, you should go seek them out if you can, and now I am hungry. I also want to point out that I typed this entire list while simultaneously searching for a Weight Watchers meeting near me. Good day.

My Turn! The Vanity Fair Questionnaire

One of my favorite bloggers, JGIWC, posted this last week - what a great idea!

I don't subscribe to Vanity Fair, but whenever I can get my hands on someone else's copy, I always flip right to the back page to read this - the Proust Questionnaire. Why not do my own on the blog? I love reading them - if you have a blog and you decide to fill it out, please let me know so I can read what you wrote!

I N S P I R A T I O N S

FAVORITE DISCOVERY My new leopard print robe, pulled off a back rack at the flea market in Florida last week. Only one left!
NECESSARY EXTRAVAGANCE Chanel facewash
FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD Tucson, Arizona. Specificially, the AEPhi kitchen or the back left corner at Dirtbags.
FAVORITE CHARITY For some reason I feel like pleading the fifth on this one.
FAVORITE MOVIE I’ve got my top five ready to go. Mean Girls is number one. Clueless is number two. And then in no particular order: Notting Hill, First Wives Club, and A League of Their Own.
FAVORITE VINTAGE STORE I don't do vintage. I always feel like someone died in the clothing.
STYLE ICONS My sister always looks beautiful in whatever concoction she’s dreamed up.

C L O T H E S

JEANS I want to say something stylish, but honestly, right now I am obsessed with my jeggings (jean leggings) from JC Penney. YEAH, you heard me right.
UNDERWEAR Only black. Usually Calvin Klein.
SNEAKERS Do Toms count?
WATCH I never wear watches. I have a beautiful Michele watch with a alligator strap, but I prefer checking the time on my cell phone.
T-SHIRT American Apparel V-necks. I have them in every color (except pink, shockingly).
DAY DRESS I wear dresses all the time. My favorites usually come from DKNY, J.Crew, or Anthropologie.
DAY BAG Right now, I am carrying my 24th birthday present - this Fendi tote bag.
EVENING BAG Marc Jacobs clutches. I usually switch off between this one and this one.
FAVORITE ACCESSORY I never take off a limited edition Tiffany bracelet that I wear on my left wrist. It was only available during the summer of 1998. I don’t think I’ve met anyone else who owns it.

B E A U T Y P R O D U C T S

LIPSTICK Nars Belle du Jour. The perfect nude!
MASCARA I am on a mascara-buying spree right now - in my makeup bag I’ve got like 5 kinds. The absolute best is Cover Girl Lash Blast (the fat orange tube). Amazing!
SHAMPOO Dove for colored hair or Aussie Moist followed by 3 Minute Miracle
MOISTURIZER Ahava Body Sorbet
PERFUME Usually Acca Kappa White Moss, sometimes Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom & Honey. I think the best compliment is when someone tells you that you smell good, and lucky for me, people tell me that all the time!
SOAP No bar soap for me - only body wash. And apparently I like things that smell like fruit: Softsoap Juicy Pomegranate & Mango, Neutrogena Pink Grapefruit, or regular old Dove.
NAIL POLISH Only French manicures on my nails. On my toes, anything hot pink.
WHO CUTS YOUR HAIR Kristi at MJF. I’ve been going to her for more than 10 years!


H O M E

WHERE DO YOU LIVE Los Angeles, CA
CAR Infiniti QX4
FAVORITE ART Beatriz Milhazes. I WILL own one of her pieces in my lifetime!
SHEETS White with pink lip-prints. Classy.
STATIONERY I'm in the market for some new stationary. Anyone like these?
PETS Sugar, my eighty-pound, fluffy, white, smiling beast. I’ll be sure to post a picture of her one of these days.
COFFEE TABLE BOOKS Domino: The Book of Decorating, Apartment Therapy, and Jonathan Adler: My Prescription for Anti-Depressive Living. Can you tell I have a thing for interior design?
FLOWERS I don’t really have a favorite flower, but I think sunflowers and Gerber daisies are pretty.
FAVORITE GADGET My new MacBook Pro! OBSESSED.
FAVORITE COCKTAIL Vodka cranberry, no lime. I love the mojitos at Craftsteak and the Moscow Mule from Westside Tavern.
FAVORITE DESSERT Haagen Dazs Creme Brulee ice cream. Unreal.
FAVORITE SNACK Surprisingly, I rarely snack. I’d rather go to Starbucks!

Seafood, Eat It

My apologies in advance to my Rabbi and all other kosher-keepers who read this blog. I love being Jewish, but I might love lobster more.

I know you were all breathlessly anticipating the recap of my experience at the St. Andrews Country Club Seafood Buffet. And how do I know that? Because no less than six people asked me when it would be up.

So here we go. And for those of you who were concerned, don’t worry - I am not THAT un-classy that I would walk around the fancy country club, taking picture in order to document the event on my blog.

I gave my camera to my 13-year old cousin and made her do it. WHAT!? She is tiny and adorable and no one paid any attention to her clicking away, whereas if it had been me, I certainly would have gotten some strange looks from the elderlies.

ANYWAYS. Onto the goods. Basically, we feasted on the following: clams, mussels, crabcakes, soft shell crabs, sushi, sea bass, ahi tuna, oysters, shrimp, scallops, crab claws, and ALL THE LOBSTER IN THE SEA. Want the visual evidence? Here ya go:

the little face you see peeking through the ice sculpture below is my fabulous mother, gathering up shrimp in her cute printed shirt:

my plate. just looking at it makes me happy.

.

YUM. Pictures cannot do it justice. When we were finished, none of us could move. We could barely drive the golf cart home. Blogging was out of the question - I laid on the couch with my cousins and watched the Disney Channel.

Perfect night? I think so...

Flo Ridin

Boca Raton, Florida is good for a few things. One of them is early bird specials. Another is riding around in a golf cart, waving at the old people playing golf. But all in all, Boca is a pretty quiet place. And you know what that means. When it is quiet, I take it upon myself to bring the fun.

(I should mention that yesterday, the whole fam climbed in the car and drove to the University of Miami, so my cousin Ryan could look at the school. We all went on the tour, and let me just tell you I have never been so jealous of a group of college students in my life. Every step we took, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “I WAS ONCE ONE OF YOU. I WAS ONCE A HAPPY COLLEGE STUDENT TOO. YOUR LIFE WILL SUCK IN THREE YEARS SO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN.” I managed to refrain, but HOLY F did that hourlong tour make me miss the Tuc. When we walked into the student union, I almost wept.)

But I digress. Back to me needing to provide the fun. When that occurs, things like this happen:

A visit to Walmart. In between dodging elderlies on motorized wheelchair scooters lining up in the Depends aisle and yelling at my cousin Sam to stop riding a bike through the store, I did stumble upon the aisle selling Britney Spears Curious perfume and screamed in delight. SHE LIVES YALL! SHE LIVES!

An afternoon of Family Singalong, where Ryan plays the piano, Sam dances, and I sing at the top of my lungs.

A SPECTACULAR trip to the Boca Raton Flea Market, where expired Essie nail polish and dreams go to die. We spent two and a half hours there and I was THOROUGHLY entertained the entire time. Where else is one lucky enough to stumble upon a shop that sells beauty products, fountains, AND knives? A one stop shop, I tell you!

And you might think that a store called “Romancing The Home” would sell, perhaps, lingerie? Well, YOU WOULD BE WRONG! Here in Boca Raton, Romancing The Home is where everyone goes to buy their grandchildren bedazzled rompers and costumed teddy bears!

I also had to pull my mother out of several stores, where she was attempting to buy nonsense items like 50% off menorahs and stray mahjongg tiles. I failed, however, at preventing her from buying knockoff Bumpits. I’m sure when we finally use those, there will be a blog devoted to the experience.

I did not leave empty handed. I expressed interest in this extremely fuzzy soft leopard robe and to my surprise, my aunt bought it for me :)

None of this is that interesting, however, in light of what occurs tomorrow night. TOMORROW, my friends, is a day that will surely live in infamy. TOMORROW, the stars in the Florida skies shall align. TOMORROW, Jordan Silverman makes her triumphant return to the St. Andrews Country Club Seafood Buffet, and OH MY LORD AM I EXCITED.

The next time I write to you, I will have visited the buffet for the first time in seven (LONG, LONG) years. There will be a blog, god willing, tomorrow night, if I am not laying on the floor in a food coma. But no promises.

Bye Bye Texas, Hello Florida

Greetings from Florida! Hope you all have been having a great week!

I arrived here yesterday straight from Texas - I had spent the weekend in Houston celebrating my friend Julie’s 25th birthday with her. Ugh, so much fun. I LOVE TEXAS - but then again, you all knew that, right?

Some highlights:

Dinner at Carrabba’s before our big night out. This is Julie’s favorite restaurant and some of her favorite people :) I love those Houston girls. (Shoutout to Liz, my “REAL FRIEND.”) Don't we all look so pretty? Dinner was SOOOO GOOD!

Seeing my GHERKIN! Granted, we last reunited in December, but any amount of time we are separated causes us both much heartache. She is very brave and drove the four hours from Dallas alone just to see me and Julie and celebrate with us! This was taken at Julie's birthday brunch at her house - her mom decorated the whole house in hot pink and orange and lime green, and there was an omelette man! YUM.

Reuniting with Alyssa! (Hadn’t seen her in more than two years, due in part to her inability to ever pick up the phone and arrange anything).

Special birthday celebration with the Rubenstein's. I love Julie’s fam - they are so funny and we always go to the yummiest meals! After we ate at Trulucks, Julie and I literally had to lay on the bed and not move for two hours.

I saved the best for last. Julie is a member of a kickball team that plays in tournaments every Sunday. They take it VERY seriously. Let me just say that if you are fortunate enough to ever have the chance to watch Julie play kickball, PLEASE take her up on it. Look at her dedication!

Not gonna lie - she also did a fair amount of hair-twirling in the outfield. A real star athlete, that one.

I cheered on the sidelines, taking jello shots and eating drunken pineapple (marinated in rum. YUM.) The reason I am wearing this retarded outfit is because Julie forced me to dress up in green (her team color) and pink (in honor of Valentine’s Day), hence, the Kanye shades and sequined hat. (Okay, I really liked the hat.) Also - please note the whistle - MY IDEA! I pretended I was in charge and kept blowing it constantly.

Anyways, I had a great time in Houston! I miss Julie Ann already :( Now I’m in Florida, visiting my grandma -- my aunt and two cousins are here as well, and my mom arrives tomorrow. Just a fun short trip -- not anything like the DFV -- but rest assured, I will fill you in on all the dysfunction in one of my next posts.

Happy Hump Day!

Now Accepting Presents :)

I don’t really care about Valentine’s Day. Not because I am currently unattached, but rather because I prefer to tell the people who I love that I love them all the time, rather than when God, the government, and Hallmark tell me to.

However, I do enjoy receiving presents. This is also not limited to one particular day or holiday. In fact, I will accept a present ANY DAY OF THE YEAR. So, if you were planning on gifting me with a little something, in honor of V-Day or just because I am lovable, here are some things I have been admiring lately....

First off, this Marc Jacobs pouch. Every single time I walk by this pouch in a department store, I make little puppy noises and stroke it gently until my friends or mother tells me to get a grip and move on. There is no real reason why I need it - I don't need a new makeup or toiletry bag, and I'm no longer of the age where I can claim I would use it as a pencil bag - but I adore it and would like to make it mine. Assistance is welcomed.

This Kate Spade necklace is just ridiculous. Please click here to see it larger -- the detail is amazing. If you remember from this post, I actually own the earrings that match this, and though I am not one to do the whole matchy-matchy thing (I think Bailey would actually murder me if I did), I do looooove this.

Want to know a weird thing about me? I love splashing in puddles. I had a friend in college who I always forced to drive me to abandoned Tucson parking lots so I could put on my hot pink rain boots and splash around in puddles anytime it monsooned in Tucson. He only went along with it so he could make fun of how retarded I looked. Anyways, I digress. Those old rainboots are long gone (probably salvaged from the AEPhi dumpster by a Tucson creeper) and now, I am in the market for some new ones. And how cute are these Hunter ones? With these on, I can continue my splashing excursions to my heart's content.
I am in the market for a new pair of shades, and these are kind of fabulous. Tory Burch just came out with their first line of sunglasses, and I am basically obsessed. The only problem is deciding which color to get!
Speaking of Tory, this is also a new arrival. I am OBSESSED with exposed zippers (as a matter of fact, I just bought this from Gap) and therefore would gladly accept this as a gift if anyone is so inclined :)

By the way, even though I don’t care about Valentine’s Day, I do still care about February 14th. That is because on that glorious day, one of my dearest friends, Miss Julie Ann Rubenstein, was born, and this year, she is turning 25!

Tomorrow I will leave sunny LA and fly to freezing Texas to celebrate the occasion of her birth with her by shopping, eating, dancing, and drinking, along with special guest Rebecca “Gherkin” Gerrick. Pictures and weekend recap to come!

Happy early weekend to all of you, and (I guess) Happy Valentine’s Day, too!

Viva Las Vegas, the Jordan Silverman Way!

From time to time, people will ask me for some recommendations on where to stay or eat in Las Vegas. Since I go so often and have, shall we say, strong opinions on what I like and don’t like, I’m always happy to share my list. For a while now, I’ve been meaning to turn my list into a blog post, but haven’t ever gotten around to it until now.

This morning, I was reading a blog I love, and Megan posted that she and her husband were planning their first-ever trip to Las Vegas to celebrate their first wedding anniversary. I offered to give her some tips, which she said she’d love, so here I am - finally getting around to it!

Las Vegas is seriously one of my favorite cities on earth. As someone who loves anything in excess, I can’t help but love a place with all the fancy restaurants, gorgeous hotels, and penny slots a girl could ask for! So, here we go - a list of my Vegas Musts!

Where to Stay:

By now, I’ve pretty much stayed in every hotel on the Strip - the good, the bad, and the ugly. My go-to/favorite place to stay is one of the Strip’s newest hotels: the Palazzo. Both the Palazzo and its sister hotel, the Venetian, offer huge, suite-only rooms with flat screen TVs, iPod docks, and big closets. I like a lot of restaurants in the Palazzo as well, and they have the only Barneys New York in Las Vegas, too.

I also like both the Wynn and its sister hotel, Encore, which also offer huge rooms with flat screen TVs and iPod docks. I like staying at the Wynn better than Encore, since it’s closer to the center of the strip and therefore more central to the other hotels, but they are essentially the same as far as amenities and rooms are concerned.

If you’d prefer to stay somewhere a little cheaper, I would recommend Paris over the Mirage or the Flamingo - the rooms inside Paris are decent-sized and the location is also pretty central on the Strip. I’ve never stayed anywhere off the Strip and wouldn’t recommend it - you’ll spend a fortune in cab rides.

Things to Do:

If you’re gonna see a show, you need to go see Beatle’s LOVE. There’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said, but put it this way - when I saw it, the moment the lights went on and it started, my mouth dropped open. If that’s not your thing (IT SHOULD BE), see Jersey Boys at the Palazzo (one of my all-time favorite musicals) or Phantom of the Opera at the Venetian.

If you’re a devoted shopper like me, you need to go to Caesar’s Forum Shops, where you can waste hours and hours inside Scoop, Intermix, Marc Jacobs, Pucci, Kate Spade, David Yurman, and Tory Burch, among others. If you like malls, Fashion Show Mall has a Nordstroms, Macy’s, Saks, Neiman Marcus, AND a Bloomingdales Home - AKA, I could live there.

And if you like to lay by the pool (or, if you can handle Vegas’s OPPRESSIVE heat from May to September), my favorite is the pool at Encore. The regular pool is nice, but if you would like to take your bathing suit off, there’s a topless pool on the roof. As my sister would say, “ENJOY YA-SELF” - I’ll be enjoying a free vodka slushie, fully clothed, by the regular pool.

Where to Eat for Lunch:

There are a few places that I always go to for lunch in Vegas. The first, Mon Ami Gabi, is inside Paris -- ask to sit on their patio, where you can watch all the freaks walking by on the Strip, and you’ll have the perfect view of the Bellagio fountain when it goes off! The mussels marinare with french fries is the only thing I ever get, and try to sit at Dan’s table if he’s available :) he’s my favorite waiter. The other place I also never miss is Spago, inside Caesar’s Forum Shops (more towards the entrance of the casino). If you sit on the patio (looks/feels like you’re outside but you’re really indoors), you can order off the Cafe Menu, which is very casual and not terribly pricey. Please do yourself a favor and order the smoked salmon pizza - it is what Spago is famous for. Also, feel free to stuff your face with the bread basket, cuz they looooove to refill it.

Also yummy for lunch:

• Joe’s Stone Crab (Caesar’s Forum Shops, bottom level) - my mom’s favorite. I like their seafood salad.
• Todd English’s Olives (Bellagio) -- you cannot go wrong with any flatbread. Ask to sit on the patio, (again, to watch the fountain go off! WHAT? I am five and like the splashing water.)
• Grand Luxe Cafe -- I’m not a major fan of going here while in Vegas cuz we have one in LA, but it’s a crowd pleaser (something for everyone) and my Dad loves it. There’s one inside the Venetian and another one inside the Palazzo.

Where to Eat for Dinner:

My absolute favorite restaurant in the United States is the Las Vegas Craftsteak, inside the MGM. I try to go every single time I am in Vegas - the restaurant is elegant and quiet, and the food (created by owner, chef Tom Collicio of Top Chef fame) is FABULOUS. If you go, get the hanger steak, the barbecued shrimp, their tomato salad (if its in season), and of course, their famous assorted mushrooms. Seriously, words are not good enough for this place. GO, get a mojito, and make a toast to me :)

Other places I love for a nice dinner in Vegas:

• Nob Hill (MGM) -- one of chef Michael Mina’s restaurants. Don’t miss the lobster pot pie or the veal milanese (only on Sundays).
• Lavo (Palazzo) -- Lavo can get a little noisy, since it’s also a very popular club, but their food is SO good! I love their polenta fries and their spaghetti with seafood.
• Postrio (Venetian) -- I think Wolfgang Puck is a genius and I would follow him to the ends of the earth, so it is not a surprise that I am a fan of nearly all of his restaurants. I can’t put my finger on what makes this one so good, but I’ve never ever had a bad meal here.
• TAO (Venetian) -- I always go to TAO when I’m in Vegas with friends, because the food is not ridiculously expensive and you can get into the club afterwards (see below). I’ve also seen lots of celebs here, if you’re into that. Drinks are very strong and you can’t go wrong with lobster wontons or filet mignon udon noodles. Yum!

Where to Go Out:

Hands down, I recommend going to XS inside Encore. It is one of the most beautiful and unique clubs I’ve ever been to - half the club is actually outside, which is so nice for when you get hot and sweaty from dancing up a storm! If you go - go EARLY. XS is new and very popular, and by 10:30pm there is always a huge line outside.

If you like to dance, TAO inside the Venetian, Pure inside Caesar’s Palace, or Tryst inside the Wynn are all very fun. Because TAO's a restaurant, if you’re in a large group (and especially if your group includes guys) I recommend making a reservation for dinner and getting your hand stamped by your waiter so you can cut the line. I’d also recommend going earlier, as they are all very popular and can get crowded.

A word to the wise: unless you are buying a table, there is rarely a place to sit inside these clubs. Wear comfortable heels! I would say wear flats, but all of these places have a strict dress code. If you’re going with guys, have them call first so they know what they should or shouldn’t wear.

WHEW! That was long, but I hope you’ll find it helpful! If anyone ever needs any additional recommendations or suggestions, I am more than happy to help :) just send me an email or leave me a comment!

VIVA LAS VEGAS YALL!