Vegas with Julie: No Biggie

Hi yall, I missed you! I’m back in LA (at least for a few days). In less than a week I’ll be on the other side of the world... but for now, let’s talk about VEGAS! (I love doing these little recaps because then I run into people in bars and they say things like “Jordan! I don’t even need to ask about your trip to ___ because I know all about it and what you did/ate/bought/wore!” And then I laugh :)

After we arrived on Wednesday and settled in to our ridiculous suite (shout out to the Palazzo for giving us free internet and a a free color printer. It really takes so little to make me happy!), we gambled and shopped at Caesars for a little while, then headed off to RM Seafood in Mandalay Bay for dinner. Neither of us had ever been there, but it was really yummy and the busboy hit on me :) Oh, and there was this:

What’s that, you ask? Oh, well, that’s the SIXTEEN ITEM SORBET/ICE CREAM BLIND TASTE TEST SAMPLER that Julie decided we HAD to try. Basically, the waiter brings out this tray with sixteen different unusually flavored ice creams, and you have to try them all and write down your guesses on this piece of paper.

That’s our list. If you look closely or click to enlarge it, you can probably read what we guessed. Some weren’t that hard, like strawberry/sour cream or cashew or hazelnut/chocolate, but others were RIDICULOUS: green pea ice cream? licorice/fennel sorbet? GROSS. The worst one ended up being banana: of course, Julie thought it was mushroom, and I originally suggested “jelly smush.”

And guess what? We only got two wrong! Our palettes are superb :)

On Thursday, we took a walk over to see the new City Center and toured Aria, which was very pretty and smelled like vanilla (all casinos smell differently to me. The Palazzo smells good, like cleaning products. I love Caesars but it smells like the carpets haven’t been cleaned in years. O’Sheas smells like the bathroom at O’Malleys. Yuck.) After lunch at Mon Ami Gabi, we did some regular Vegas tourist things....

A fact I should share with you about my Vegas partner-in-crime, Miss Julie Ann: she LOVESSSS taking silly pictures. When I say silly, I mean that the girl cannot pass up ANYTHING funny or cheesy without posing in front of it. Cartoon characters, props, funny hats, pretty backgrounds, sunglasses, statues.... she loves them all. Can you tell?

With a statue and a fountain:

With a fountain:
On the stairs at Aria:

Posing with giant Mardi Gras beads on the strip:

and with ELVIS!!!

Thursday night: HIGHLIGHT OF THE CENTURY. Julie and I had wanted to see a show - we tried to get tickets for O, but it was sold out :( BOO. Instead, we decided to see something no one else would ever go for.... THE THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER!!!!!

Oh yes. For an hour and a half we watched eight 95% naked Australian men shake their shit onstage. FRONT ROW BABY! Julie almost died of embarrassment. For the first 20 minutes, all I could do was laugh, and then, not going to lie, I got surprisingly into it. I may have even raised my hand for audience participation - I didn’t get chosen, but OF COURSE the dance where one of the strippers pours an entire bottle of water over his naked body took place ON TOP OF MY TABLE. Cue an enormous stream of water flowing all over me. When we walked out of there (after paying $20 to take a photo with them onstage - I’d show you but I look strange and vaguely Asian-y) I could have passed for a drowned rat. See?

After the performance of the century, we headed over to Lavo for dinner, and were treated to a celebrity sighting - P.Diddy was in the booth right behind us. I was more interested in the lobster pizza and the hot busboy (what IS IT with me and busboys on this trip!?) After dinner we drank at Lavo for a bit, then left the club and gambled on the BEST GAME, the Sex and the City slot machine!

Friday was spent touring the Wynn and Encore before hopping off to the airport, where, after my flight was delayed, I convinced someone to put me on an earlier one, leaving me to SPRINT MY ASS through the Vegas airport to make it in time. I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to Julie :( so Jul... I LOVE YOU!

And Vegas... I love you too!

Bonus info: I wrote this little recap from the plane home, where the fucking ids behind me keep asking the flight attendants “Are we there yet?” every five minutes and ordering multiple rounds of vodka sodas.

Anyways, I’m home now, and only have a few more days before I scamper off to the other side of the world again for a few weeks :) I promise to post again before that! Hope you are all having wonderful weekends!