"Only Ugly Girls Wait In Line in Vegas."

Hola! Did everyone have a good weekend? I did -- I spent the weekend in Vegas with my girlfriends from Birthright -- Ashley Y, Ashley B, Jackie, Cara, and Greene!

Basically I knew it was going to be majorly fun times when Jackie emailed everyone the night before to announce, “I am only packing dresses and champagne.” I’ll give you the highlights:

Friday night: Dinner and dancing at Lavo. Honestly, it was meh. We are obsessed with each other so we still had fun, but I don’t plan on going back there -- either for food or for clubbing. When we left, I headed straight for the Sex and the City slot machine and won $80, so the night ended well for me!

Saturday: After lunch at Joe’s Stone Crab, we did some shopping in Caesar’s Forum Shops. Everyone loved my hot pink Tory Burch flats, so we all headed to Tory so everyone could buy a pair! Then we split up -- some went to gamble, some to the pool, and I dragged Greene with me to meet my gay ex, who was in town to direct the Gay Pride Parade. Conversation topics included a) how we used to make out to the Aqua “Barbie Girl” soundtrack, and b) the time he stole my Gucci sunglasses. Remind me again how I did not realize he was gay? My gaydar is absolute shit.

I also picked up these little monsters. After all, when in Vegas...

Could you die? I am calling them my Gaga shoes and plan on wearing them everywhere, including to the supermarket and to business meetings.

Saturday night: We all had dinner at Sushi Samba, which was fabulous. And now I’ll tell the strangest story of the weekend. Our waiter at Sushi Samba was great -- we asked him to send a manager over so we could give him compliments. When the manager walked over, I stared at him for a few minutes, then said, “You look so familiar.”

“Really?” he said.

“Is your name Josh?” I asked. He said yes.

“Ummmmm..... this is so awkward. I think we were set up once by ________.”

“OMG! ARE YOU JORDAN?”

I said yes and turned bright red. One of my mom’s friends’ had given him my email address, and we had emailed back and forth a few times, until realizing that we were not geographically compatible. My friends were open-mouthed and dying laughing. “HOW IS IT POSSIBLE YOUR JEW NETWORK SPANS THE WORLD?” asked Jackie. I tried to hide under the table.

UGH SMALL JEWISH WORLD.

After I had recovered from the embarrassment, we all met up with Ray Ray, this guy I know who is an awesome Vegas hookup -- basically, you pay him instead of paying cover for a club, and you cut the ENTIRE LINE. The six of us literally walked right into XS, the hottest club in Vegas, cutting at least 1,000 people in the process.

XS = so fun. We danced for HOURS. I spent the majority of the evening attempting to imitate the paid hoochie dancer dancing on the platform in the middle of the club. Even when guys came over to dance with me, I shooed them away so I could focus on my fake/slightly retarded dance performance. (Clearly, my priorities are a little fucked.)

And then, at around 3am, Jackie and I decided our feet were KILLING US (goddamn heels), so we kicked off our shoes and climbed into the pool to dance. Oh yes.

Upon leaving, the moment we exited the club, we all kicked our heels off for the long walk home. A bouncer then chased after us -- "Ladies, you have to put your shoes back on."

I refused and attempted to run (hobble) away.

"Miss! I will arrest you if you do not put your shoes back on."

At that, I relented and put my shoes back on. HOWEVER. Part of me wanted to see if he actually would do it. I can only imagine Garsilv's face if I called from Vegas at 4am needing to be bailed out of jail due to my refusal to wear my shoes. Rest assured, my mug shot would be ADORABLE.

Sunday was recovery day -- we were so tired. After brunch at Society in Encore (where the manager remembered me due to my leopard business cards - score! - and sent over free sticky buns, a little shopping, and a little more gambling, we ended our trip :(

I’m sad it’s over -- it was so fun! But the best part was spending time with my Birthright friends. I feel so lucky to have gotten so close with such an amazing group of ladies -- we’re already planning our next trip!