Move Along, Vegetarians

So, a week ago, Jonathan Gold came out with this list - 99 Things To Eat in LA Before You Die. Since I love Jonathan Gold (and food in general), you better believe I clicked that link as fast as my (freakishly miniature) hands would go. And I read. I read and read and read, and drooled a little bit, and on a little piece of paper, marked off the ones that I have personally consumed.

Of the 99, I have eaten 12 - somewhat embarrassing for someone who considers herself an expert on all L.A. foodstuffs. But perhaps more embarrassing, however, is the food on the actual list. If you're hungry, I'd suggest stopping now.

1. Fab LA’s Street Dog - tastes exactly like the hot dogs served at Bruce Dogs, a high-class street-cart institution located outside a strip club in lovely Tucson, Arizona.
2. Kogi Kalbi Taco - I’ve blogged about my love for the Kogi Truck before. Read this.
3. Langer’s Pastrami
4. Phillipe’s French Dip - I have been going to Philippe’s ever since I was a little girl and my dad would take Bay and I downtown on the train. I was probably the only six year old ordering lamb.
5. Hot Dog on a Stick
6. Mozza Pizza
7. Lawry’s Prime Rib
8. Animal’s Foie Gras & Biscuits and Gravy - if you like meat, run, don’t walk, to Animal.
9. Baycities Godmother
10. Din Tai Fung's Soup Dumplings - if anyone is ever in the mood to trek down to Arcadia on a weekend morning to stuff themselves with dumplings, kindly call me so I can hop in your car, please.
11. Hungry Cat's Lobster Roll
12. Huckleberry's Maple-Bacon Biscuits

ANYONE SEE A COMMON THEME HERE?! With the exception of the Hungry Cat Lobster Roll, they’re ALL MEAT!

That both upsets and exhilarates me. I once dated a human being who ate more meat than anyone I have ever met - every single meal of his contained some sort of dead animal - and while at the time I professed to find this gross and would wonder aloud about his cholesterol level, secretly I was impressed with his level of devotion to the Anti-Vegetarian cause.

Let’s dig deeper in the list, shall we? Surprise, surprise, we’ve got two hot dogs (given my love for tubular meats, this is unsurprising). We’ve got four sandwiches, which is also unsurprising, given that I am a Major Fan of Bread. We’ve got quite a bit of the other white meat, regarding which I will just say, I am glad my father does not read my blog, as he would NOT like that very much and probably give me a lecture whilst I sulked in the corner of his office.

In short, I will say that apparently Los Angeles is an amazing place to eat if you are not a vegetarian. Every single item on my list is delicious, you should go seek them out if you can, and now I am hungry. I also want to point out that I typed this entire list while simultaneously searching for a Weight Watchers meeting near me. Good day.