Did You Know Rabbis Use Gchat?

I am fairly certain my rabbi is more bad ass than yours. NOT ONLY because she drinks wine, sometimes takes me out for fancy dinners, says brilliant things, and is a lesbian, but ALSO because she has gchat, which I love, and which gives me conversations like this:

4:02 PM

E: you are brilliant

and some day

i will say i knew you when

me: what!

that is fabulous

why

E: your blog

it just keeps getting better

and smarter

and more savvy

and i just sense big things

me: i enjoy you

E: and since god and i are like this

well

i know these things

me: btw this conversation is going on my blog

hope you do not mind

E: i never mind being discussed on your blog

it is an honor

you know how madonna has her rabbi

at the kabbalah center

i want to be your rabbi so when you are pictured in US weekly

i can be in there too

me: omg this convo just keeps getting better and better

is it inapprop to say sometimes i wish i was a lesbian so we could be LIFE PARTNERS FOREVAAAAA

but instead besties will do

E: laughing aloud

literally

See? She rocks. That conversation pleased me to no end because I was complimented in it, which is one of my VERY FAVORITE PASTTIMES.

The best was when she said, "God and I are like this" -- ie, besties. Life tip: it is good to have a friend who is a rabbi (or pastor or reverend or Father or what have you in the Christian universe) because they are on a close personal first-name basis with God, and some of us need all the help we can get.