"COME ON LORETTA, TAKE IT HOME!"

OOPS. I realized a few days ago that I never updated and told you why I would be missing for a few days - sorry!

So where was I all weekend? In VEGAS! Oh yes, for like the fourth time this year. I cannot get enough. This time, since the men are in Cabo for their annual Guys Trip, my mom and I had a fabulous girls weekend with those tall blondes Janice and RF!

My mom and I arrived on Friday afternoon and headed straight for the slot machines. I swear to god, she loves to gamble more than she loves to shop - I can’t believe I’m saying it but it’s true. I’ve never seen her happier than when she is in front of a slot machine. Since coincidentally Alexandra was in town as well, I met her for Happy Hour at American Fish in Aria!

After Happy Hour, I headed off to MGM to meet the Fields and my mom for dinner at Craftsteak. I think I’ve mentioned on here before how much I love Craftsteak -- it is seriously my favorite restaurant and Friday night did not disappoint. The food was fantastic, the drinks were strong, and giant plates of prosciutto were served - phenomenal!

After dinner, we stayed at MGM to gamble a little bit, and in the span of seventeen minutes my mom won $615. UNREAL. Then Saturday morning we woke up and headed out for some shopping. I almost didn’t make it -- we stopped to take a cute picture on a bridge overlooking the strip and it was so fucking hot outside that the two-minute pause almost ended my life. Listen people - I lived in Tucson for four years. I know hot. This weekend in Vegas was more than hot. It was like a fucking blowdryer in my face 24-7. Not okay.

I cheered up once we were in the air-conditioned mall and was DEFINITELY in better spirits once we hit Kate Spade. My internet bestie Charlotte (yes, I have an internet bestie. No, I don’t think that’s weird. Yes, we are Facebook friends. No, we have never met.) had posted a link on my Facebook wall showing me these UNREAL new hot pink sparkle heels, and I needed to check them out IMMEDIATELY. As soon as I put them on my feet, I fell in love... and so did some other people:

GORGEOUS. There is a slight fit issue (not my fault) but if I can get past that, those shoes are coming home with me to live. Continuing on: after tearing up the mall and getting some fab stuff on sale (including an AMAZING early birthday present from Miss Janice and RF - thank you!!!), we headed back to the Palazzo, where love of my life Samuel Jay appeared out of thin air, complaining about the zillion dollars he lost on the tables and that he was hungry. He refused to allow me to take a photo, but rest assured he was there :)

Saturday night we decided to try a new place for dinner. I’ve heard some amazing things about Carnevino, and I think Mario Batali is a genius, so I was super excited. Overall, it did not disappoint. We drank two bottles of wine, flirted with our waiter, and my mom declared her octopus one of the best dishes she’d ever had, so all in all, I think it was a success. I need to go back there one more time before I can give it a full review/recommend it to others freely, but I think it’s promising :)

After dinner, RF and I kept drinking and had quite the adventure in the bowels of the Venetian... but that’s a story for another day :)

Today we woke up sad to leave :( we had lunch at Joe’s Stone Crab and shopped at Caesar’s Forum Shops, but truly, the highlight of the day was watching my mom compete in the Palazzo Slot Tournament. She got invited to play (and got our suite comped!) in this tournament - the way it works is for 10 minutes straight, she and a bunch of other randoms have to play on special machines and whoever has the highest score gets like a zillion dollars in prize money. Needless to say, she did not win, but I personally thought it was prize enough to hear the obese man standing next to me scream at his wife at the top of his lungs, “COME ON LORETTA, TAKE IT HOME!”

I almost fell over laughing and for the rest of the day referred to my mother as Loretta. So here is a photo that I snuck (because you are not allowed to take pictures in the casino) of Loretta Silverman, pushing that little button as hard as she could!

PHEW THAT WAS LONG. Sorry about that but I owed you something good :) hope you all had fantastic weekends! I’ll be back all this week with lots of fun shit, cuz I love you that much :)