"I'm Never Leaving" - My Experience at the Texas State Fair

SHALOM YALL!

It has been a damn long time since I’ve blogged. So sorry! It really is a shame that I missed the past few days in Los Angeles, what with the 113 record temperatures and all. So sorry to have missed that. Anywho, while all you poor citizens of Los Angeles were laying under your air conditioners melting, I was away enjoying all the glorious things the great state of Texas has to offer :)

I spent the last four days in Texas visiting some of my besties, and it was super fun. What was the purpose of the trip, you ask? Well, I start my new job a week from today (yay!), and I wanted to spend some quality time with them before it becomes hard for me to go out of town.

A few days after I booked my trip, I got an excited phone call from Gerrick. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “The day you arrive is the day the TEXAS STATE FAIR opens!” I dropped the phone in the sink and screamed.

Let me back up a sec. I LOVE Texas. Well, actually, I love the South and everything about it, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Texas. In college, I dated someone from Texas, and quite frankly, he never shut up about his love for his state - the people, the land, the food, and ESPECIALLY the Texas State Fair. I think some of that love must have rubbed off on me, because I love everything about Texas too - and it doesn’t hurt that some of my best friends live there, so I get to visit all the time!

So for years I’ve been hearing about the Texas State Fair. And finally, last Friday, I got to go and experience it on my own.... and holy shit you guys. I am still trying to process everything I saw and heard and did. It was INSANE.

My tour guides on this experience were my Gerrick and her boyfriend Daniel. They were so excited to show me the fair, and didn’t even yell when I was literally walking around like I was just dropped off by my alien spaceship. Usually I get a little embarrassed about taking pictures in public (I don’t like looking like a tourist), but that day my camera did not leave my hand. I took pictures of food, of signs, of animals, of people - you name it. I never want to forget the fair!

If there is anyone in this world who appreciates good ole’ southern cooking more than me, it’s the two of them - especially Daniel. I KNOW that boy got a kick out of dragging me around the fair for six hours, insisting I sample this and try that and take a bit of this and a sip of that.

As a Fried Food Connoisseur, I was literally in heaven. Yup, I just admitted that on the internet. I don’t care. The three of us shared everything so we could try more things -- I’ll tell you what we ate, but you can’t judge. We had fried butter, fried Texas caviar, a fried Snickers bar, fried cookie dough, corn dogs (which they call corny dogs in Texas - weird), and a sausage on a stick (not gonna lie, I wouldn’t let anyone else hold it). DELICIOUS!

Next time I go to the fair, I’m making it a two-day event so I can try all the other food. Fried cheesecake, fried Texas frito pie, chicken fried bacon, fried grilled cheese, fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, fried margaritas and beer.... when I die, bury me on those fairgrounds. It’s the only place I want to spend eternity.

Did I mention that while all this was going on, it was a brisk 95 degrees outside with about 100% humidity? (I truly debated long and hard about even putting these pictures up on the internet, that’s how disgusting I looked that day.) I was MELTING. Right before we left, I literally drank six lemonades in a row and made Daniel carry my purse to the car because I was so damn hot. This is us seeking refuge in an air-conditioned building selling, um, gumbo and pecan pie. I tasted the gumbo and ran off to make out with the air conditioning:

Not exactly sure why, but sometime throughout the day Gerrick decided we needed to go on a ride. The fair is not just food and drinks and sheep - it also has fun rides! Gerrick picked a ride called “The Love Bugs” - a ride that spins you around and around reallllllyyyy fast -- and before I knew it, we were being strapped in. Since it’s making me dizzy to even think about it, I am going to post this small collage of photos to illustrate how the Love Bug experience went:

Basically, the centrifugal force of the ride pushed Gerrick on top of me, and for the life of her she could not pull herself off. For the full three minutes, I LITERALLY was squished like a tiny bug and I could NOT get her off of me - all I could do was laugh (and then cry). When the fucking ride was finally over, I could barely climb out. As soon as I regained my strength, I laid down the law - we would NOT be going on any more rides. Back to the food...

Before we could leave the fair, we had one last stop to make -- the Livestock Tent. Um, to say I was dying of excitement would be an understatement. Little Known Fact: goats are my favorite animal. Whenever I am at or near a petting zoo, I immediately run for the goats and stare at them and hold them. So I was very excited to go to the Livestock Tent. And then we walked up and before we could even enter, we saw THIS:

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is the WORLD’S BIGGEST HOG. And I got to see it in person!!!!!!

That thing is MASSIVE. I still cannot believe how big it is. Gerrick says that when we walked up, my mouth LITERALLY dropped open. She said she’s never seen me so speechless in my entire life.

After the hog, I literally had to take a breather and sit down for a few minutes to process what I had seen. Ten minutes later, I was ready for the rest of the animals. Other fun furry friends we got to see and touch: goats, pigs, sheep, chickens, llamas, camels, ostriches, alpacas, cows, ANDDDDDDDD a REAL LIVE GIRAFFE! The AEPhi in me was singing and dancing :)

That, my friends, is my writeup of the fair. I’m exhausted just thinking of it! But that was only a tiny part of my trip to Texas -- so I promise I’ll fill you in on the rest in a separate post. But before I go....

People of the world. Listen to me. The Texas State Fair is glorious. You NEED to experience it at least once in your life. It is unlike anything you have ever seen. Do yourselves a favor and book a flight to Dallas next year. I’m sure I’ll see you there :)