OH THE PAIN

I am unable to write a sufficient post for today because I had my first training session with my new trainer yesterday and I am now incapable of lifting my arms to type.

I had a feeling this was going to happen: she is an Ironwoman competitor and she went to ASU. I am totally fucked.

Feel free to send healing thoughts and an extra-supportive sports bra my way... In the meantime, I will post photos of things I like, and you will enjoy them because that’s all you’re getting today :)

That is a photo of delicious food from Pizzeria Mozza, and I am posting it because I am going there today! Our department is having our holiday lunch there and I.CANNOT.FREAKING.WAIT. Yes I realize that eating delicious pizza and squash blossoms and butterscotch budino is going to make my next session with my trainer a real pain in my ass, but the food is so tasty I do not really care :)

Remember when I blogged about this scarf I was dying over? That ridiculous $500 scarf that I was never going to get because I do not spend $500 on things like scarves? Well, Net-A-Porter had its once-a-year sale and THE SCARF WENT ON SALE. I literally died in my chair and BBMed my mom and was like “MOM MOM MOM MOM OMG OMG OMG” and she called me immediately because she thought someone had died. And I was like “No one is dead, but the scarf is on sale and I need it.” Then she hung up on me. And then I bought it. It came today and I almost cried in the middle of the office it was so beautiful and sparkly and shiny. Stay tuned for 9029028420 photos of me wearing it ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE.

HAHAHAHAHA. I stumbled upon this photo and almost died laughing. THAT is what I looked like in 2005. And I have several questions: Do you think I was abusing the tanning beds a little? Also, why am I wearing turquoise eyeliner? Why is my collar popped? What the fuck is going on in this picture? Parents, how did you let me leave the house? How did I have any friends? Okay, I’m done. But seriously, HAHAHAHA.

I am pretty sure if I was Christmas (not a typo, that is what I call non-Jews), I would have this stocking to hang by my fireplace (that’s where you put them, right?) It is pink and sparkly and furry, so it gets an A+ in my book, and here are the things I would want it to be filled with: Orbitz cinnamon gum, Pilot pens, a Starbucks gift card, Jo Malone Nectarine Blossom perfume, and Christian Louboutin leopard print pony hair wedges.

That's all for today. Pray for my quads.