New York, I Hardly Knew Ya!

Omg! What a long absence it’s been. Did yall miss me? I’ve been very busy the past few days in New York - visiting family, celebrating the Jewish holidays, and of course, getting some fun in there too.

I took the red-eye to New York Friday night and arrived Saturday morning. After a few hours of nappage in the hotel, I woke up and headed out for a DOF with Mama and Bailey J! We had brunch at ABC Kitchen (amazing), did some shopping and then headed home just as New York got DRENCHED in a torrential downpour. We ventured out for dinner at Kin Shop (Harold from Top Chef Season 1’s new restaurant) with JMDV before coming home and passing out. Good first day!

Sunday morning I woke up bright and early and met my New York girlfriend Miss Robin Greene and perpetual 5+ Carly Bab for brunch at Balaboosta (shout out to Daniel for the great rec!) Correction - I met Robin for brunch. Carly sent us both a text at 7am saying (and this is a direct quote, complete with spelling errors) “I think I am going to be layTe.” Robin and I were at brunch for a full hour before CBab rolled in, hair uncombed, missing a bra, looking DAMN FINE. Cue uncontrollable laughter on my part, which continued as Carly looked at the handsome boy next to us and said to him “I know you from somewhere! Did we go out on a date?” He replied no. Carly insisted it had to be the case: “Maybe we met on JDate?” Finally the poor boy gave it up - “We never went on a date... I know this because I’M GAY.” I literally almost had to be escorted out of the restaurant I was laughing so hard. Poor polite Robin didn’t know what hit her... that’s probably the first and last time she ever hangs out with us again.

So cute! Outside the restaurant. Stace are you jealous? :)

After brunch I grabbed a cab and headed to Times Square to meet the female members of my family for a matinee - we saw Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and OMFG YALL it was amazing. From the moment it started til the time when the curtain came down I was riveted to the stage, in all its hot pink feather boa sparkle glory. Look, it’s basically a glorified drag show, it’s not going to save any lives, but Jesus was it entertaining. I (naturally) bought the CD and have not stopped singing it since.

We spent Monday and Tuesday in Long Island staying with the fam getting ready for our Seders, which were, in typical Jordan Silverman fashion, over the top and insane. Our first Seder, held at my cousin's house, was jam-packed with more than 20 loud screaming Jews.

This was John-Michael’s very first Seder, and BOY was he in for a treat. I don’t think he knew whether to laugh or cry the entire time. Also, I dared him to eat a piece of gefilte fish and HE DID!!!! I was open-mouthed with horror and, not gonna lie, I’m REALLY impressed. He is basically an honorary Jew now.

Sister sister! I am OBSESSED with my new scarf. Expect to see a lot of it in the next few months.

During our second Seder the following night, we were mid-prayer when all of a sudden out of nowhere the electricity in the ENTIRE HOUSE went out. What’s a group of non-handy Jews to do? Well, we whipped out the candles and flashlights and finished the Seder in the dark. We then proceeded to eat the entire meal in the darkness as well. My cousin Sam took this picture to illustrate - please note both the flashlights on the table, as well as my ELECTRIC ORANGE FACE. (I need to explain. Bailey convinced me to get a spray tan, which I’ve done many times and am a fan of. UMMMM?!?!?! Note to self: do NOT get a spray tan anywhere within 50 miles of the Jersey Shore. I walked out of there looking like a fucking Oompa Loompa and only now, two days, three showers, and a whole lot of scrubbing, do I finally look more like a human being than Snooki reincarnated.)

Anywho. I’m actually writing this from Dallas right now! Gerrick’s couch, to be exact, with her disgusting cat perched next to me staring intently at me. (I’m legitimately scared and want to run away, but I braved the feline terror to update yall.) I got here this morning and we’ve already had tons of fun - I’ll fill you in next time I post.

FART officially starts tomorrow and I am so excited! I will update again soon with stories and pics about our various adventures through what my boyfriend called “the mysterious wonderland known as the South.” Love it. Wish us luck!