Why Do I Not Own These Things?

Yall. The internet is being dangerous again. I want everything. It is very bad and I am possibly going to have to ban myself from my computer. That or give my credit card to someone very stern and trustworthy. If you fit that description, please let me know, we can maybe work something out so I don’t run off and go buy THIS:

And these (which for less than $15 may come and live with me after all):

And this (which for almost $500 will NOT be coming to live with me EVER):

I would also be a happy camper if I could walk around town with these happy puppies on my feet:

While we’re on the subject of shoes, I continue to lust after and dream about those Dolce Vita fuckers. Sold out in my size (AND in the size below and above mine) despite my best attempts to beg, plead, bribe, threaten, and cajole the lovely Dolce Vita man into helping me locate my size. DRATS.

Finally, I would not complain if some lovely human being wanted to gift me with these sparkle situations which I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE INSANE AMOUNTS:

In short, if I bought everything I wanted I would be living in a tiny box on the street. I’d be gorgeously attired, though.

Now that I’ve gotten that all out of my system, I am excited to announce that on Thursday I am announcing some BIG FABULOUS NEWS!!! So make sure you tune in then :)