JMS, A to Z

You all know how much I love me a meme. Saw this on a blog a few days ago and couldn’t resist. In case there was any personal information you were curious about that I HADN’T already spilled about myself to the interwebs, here you go :)

JMS, A to Z!

A. Age: 25

B. Bed size: Full. I’m thinking of upgrading to a queen as soon as I can find a new bed or headboard that I like enough to make the switch.

C. Chore you dislike: Um, cleaning my bathroom. No matter how often I try and sweep it up, inevitably I leave strands of sparkle hair and little makeup trails all over the place. My mother FLIPS every time she comes over and sees it. Surprisingly, I really like doing laundry though. (Took me long enough – I didn’t do a single load myself until I was 21 years old!)

D. Dogs: My Samoyed, Sugar Pie Honeybunch, who unfortunately just got diagnosed with cancer last week :(

E. Essential start to your day: Opening a single eye as my alarm (Whitney Houston’s “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay”) goes off, reaching for my phone, and reading my emails. After I leave the house, I call Gerrick to chat on my way to work every morning at 8:06 on the dot.

F. Favorite color: PINK. Duh.

G. Gold or silver: Gold AND silver! I love mixing metals – most of my jewelry (including my bracelets I never take off) has gold AND silver elements to it.

H. Height: A VERY tall 5’3 and a half.

I. Instruments you play(ed): I can play exactly two songs on the piano: Heart and Soul and Do-Ri-Mee from Sound of Music. I took piano lessons for a year when I was a kid and I’ve forgotten every single thing I learned except for those two.

J. Job title: Communications Associate.

K. Kids: Yes please. I want a lot – three or four? And I have a feeling God will bless me with triplets… ALL BOYS!

L. Live: Brentwood, California. No longer a valley girl!

M. Mom’s name: Mama, Muzz, Mommy :)

N. Nicknames: Let’s see. I have one of those easily shorten-able names so I have quite a few. Jor, Jord, Jordy, Jordache, and Jar Jar Binx when my sister is feeling sassy. She usually gets a smack.

O. Overnight hospital stays: None, thank god.

P. Pet peeves: People who are cheap, people who don't know how to make conversation, and when someone is standing over me talking to me while I'm sitting. I HATE that.

Q. Quote from a movie: Well, obviously, “She’s fabulous but she’s evil” from my beloved Mean Girls. But I also have quite the soft spot for this gem from Juno:

Juno: I think I'm in love with you.

Paulie: You mean as friends?

Juno: No, I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met — and you don't even have to try.

Paulie: I try really hard, actually.

R. Righty or lefty: Righty.

S. Siblings: New York resident, Helmut Lang employee, stealer of all clothing, terrible communicator, lover of spicy tuna rolls, and new Tweeter Bailey J.

T. Time you wake up: My alarm goes off at 7:20. I get out of bed at 7:30.

U. Underwear: Usually leopard print, not gonna lie.

V. Vegetables you don’t like: I won’t touch red peppers or celery.

W. What makes you run late: Last minute ensemble changes or phone calls that distract me. And I HATE being late!

X. X-rays you’ve had: Left shoulder. I have a weird pain that flares up from time to time :(

Y. Yummy food you make: Among the very few dishes I know how to make: carrot-ginger soup, roasted vegetables, tofu stirfry, and a fucking phenomenal chocolate chip challah bread pudding.

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Giraffes. Representing AEPhi always!

That was fun! Hope yall enjoyed :)

OMFG Pink

The following happened last night:

I arrived home from a night spent with GB, Anna, and baby Eytan at Bloomingdales, where I was attempting to shop the Friends & Family presale. It did not go so well - I hated everything. UGH. Bad mood.

So I sat on the couch and turned on some mindless television and started poking around the internet, seeing what pink things were out there that I could potentially post today. I went to DVF and JCrew and Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom’s websites and nothing was striking my fancy or sticking out. UGH again.

And then I randomly decided to go to saks.com. I typed in “pink shoe” and this popped up:

To say that I GASPED OUT LOUD is an understatement. I literally GASPED so loudly that in the OTHER ROOM, my roommate paused her Tivo, sat up on her bed, and yelled “What!?”

OH MY GOD YALL. Remember when I blogged about these coral suede shoes? Well, this is them... in HOT PINK LEATHER.

HOLY FUCK I AM LUSTING AFTER THESE SO BADLY. And they are sold out in my size. So now I am going to FUCKING STALK THE SHIT OUT OF THEM until I find them and make them mine. I am not even linking to them because I don’t trust any of you to go snap them up before I can! (I’m sorry, I really am, but NO.)

(Yes I realize I am slightly overdoing it on the overdramatic all-caps. I don’t care. This is serious business, yall. No one comes in between me and HOT PINK LEATHER WEDGES.)

My Favorite And My Best (Weekend Edition)

Hi yall! Happy Monday to you.

Did you have a nice weekend? I did. Full of lots of fun and random moments. I was sitting on my couch on Sunday night thinking about what I wanted to write about for today and I decided I couldn’t pick just one thing... so in honor of my fun and random weekend, here’s a short list of My Favorite and My Best (MFAMB for short, also the name of a hilarious interior design blog I read often and recommend if yall are interested in that sort of thing):

MFAMB #1 - I got to have brunch with Elianna! Yes, my #1 favorite rabbi was in town for the weekend and we met up at Momed for some deliciousness and catching up. I wish I had taken a pic of us but it’s probably for the best as I looked HORRID but rest assured she looked gorgeous in her bright pink scarf (which I will pretend she wore in my honor). It’s so nice seeing friends who you miss.

MFAMB #2 - Warning: you are DEFINITELY going to think I am a dork after reading this. On Saturday night I went out on a date (which was lovely thankyouverymuchforasking) and while waiting for our table at the restaurant, we walked next door to Barnes & Noble to browse. Not so nerdy, right? Well what if I tell you that we proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes trying to ONE-UP each other about who had READ MORE BOOKS? “Have you read THIS? It’s amazing.” “Yes of course I’ve read that, but have you read THIS?” “Of course, what do you take me for, an idiot? Please tell me you’ve read THIS.” YES COMPLETELY DORKY... but I don’t care because it was super fun and what better way to find out more about someone than to see if you have similar tastes in books? First of all for the record, I believe we were tied with how many books we both have read... and second of all, he recommended this to me and I bought it the next day and have totally fallen in love with it. Get it, yall. It’s not what you think. It’s beautiful.

MFAMB #3 - I woke up on Sunday morning to a text from my sister. “I GOT TWITTER HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.” To say I was shocked out of my mind is an understatement. Bailey HATES social media. For every minute I spend updating the world on my whereabouts via Facebook or Twitter, she spends that minute mocking me to my face - “Who the hell cares about your new rainbow sparkle hair?” “Why does everyone need to know that you hate taking the subway in NY?” To date she has been on twitter for about 24 hours and her only tweet thus far has made NO SENSE but has thrilled me nonetheless. Follow her immediately so she feels popular and is compelled to tweet more - @baileyjanna.

MFAMB #4 - Last night for dinner I trekked out to the DEEP VALLEY (I say it like it’s such a shlep, 15 minutes in the car and I LOVE THE DAMN VALLEY ANYWAYS SO WHO CARES) with Amir, Stevie, Ashley and some other pals for dinner at Zahle, a little Lebanese restaurant in North Hollywood. We sat on the patio and Amir literally ordered the entire menu for us in Arabic - so exotic! It was delicious, of course, but I cannot lie to you all - I was in a strange mood and thus happily ate the french fries and pita bread rather than the more unusual menu items. It was a very nice evening and MOSTLY the reason I am blogging about it is because Amir weeps real tears whenever he thinks about the fact that we’ve been friends for four months and he has never made it on the blog. HAPPY NOW!? :)

So there you have it. Nothing out of the ordinary - just fun times with good friends and of course, good food :) hope you all are ready for the week!

Just Wanted To Say I Love You And Bear Down

The fastest way to get me to feel better?

AN ARIZONA WIN, BABY!!!!

Last night my Arizona Wildcats DESTROYED one of the best college basketball teams in the country. Bye bye Duke!

And yes, we all know I’m not a major sports fan. Doesn’t matter. My friends say half the fun of watching a game with me is watching me act like I have any clue what’s going on. I kept screaming “GET IT!” at the top of my lungs and accidentally referred to a complicated play as a “situation” (and no I am not talking about the GTL type of situation). Whatever, at least I have heart.

We play UConn on Saturday. Don’t worry, I’m already planning a party. And you might also find it entertaining that on my original bracket, I picked UConn to win the whole thing. Now that they’re our enemy, I plan on destroying my bracket - I am literally going to burn the thing with a match. I’m not taking any chances :)

Quick snapshot of my Twitter feed the minute after we won:

My Facebook feed looked the exact same way. I love Wildcat fans. Through the wonders of social networking I also found out that the cops shut down University because people were rioting in the streets. To that I say “JEALOUS BEYOND BELIEF.” If I could have, I would have been there in a SECOND.

Oh, and the title of this post refers to a text I got from Julie right after the game ended. I laughed out loud and called her back. She MAY have been crying again - not exactly sure - but she did scream “I’M THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD!” and promised to wear her lucky Arizona shirt again on Saturday.

I can’t wait for the game! BEAR DOWN BABY! ARIZONA WILDCATS FOR LIFE! Whatever you do this weekend, I hope cheering for the Wildcats is part of your plans!

Boo, Sick

I'M SICK :(

I’m sure you’re all imagining what a pleasant delight I am to be around when I’m feeling under the weather. However, while I’m sick is one of those rare times when you will NOT get a Jordan Silverman Tantrum. On the contrary, actually. When I’m sick I revert into a small, pitiful child. I lay on the couch listlessly staring off into space. I speak in a quiet, whispery little voice. Most tellingly? I refuse all foods. My mother always says that she knows I’m really sick when I have no interest in eating.

Currently I am suffering from a sore throat and a bit of a stomach bug, the feeling of which I have likened to “being punched in the fucking stomach.” Very pleasant. As I lay here on my couch feeling sorry for myself and texting my own personal nurse for advice (Gerrick alternates between being extremely helpful and yelling at me for not drinking enough water to which I say IF YOU WERE HERE YOU COULD BRING ME SOME BUT YOURE NOT SO THANKS FOR NOTHING), here are the only things making me happy at this current moment in time:

Snuggle socks - odds are if I am in my apartment a pair of these are on my feet. As is often the case when I find something I like, I have literally purchased one million pairs of snuggle socks and now own them in every single color and pattern. Currently I am wearing lime green.

My new Splendid sweats - hands down these are the most comfortable sweatpants on earth. I would seriously consider giving up my beloved college sweats (with AEPHI embroidered in hot pink on the ass) if I could wear these for the rest of my life. They are fucking amazing.

Wonton soup and white rice - from Chin Chin across the street. I tried to order matzah ball soup from Jerry’s Famous Deli and was told I needed a $25 delivery minimum. Despite my pitiful whining to the man over the phone, he would not budge and thus I was forced to turn to Chinese food to cure my ails.

My television - god bless TV, DVR, and whoever invented them, because they are my BEST FRIENDS. I can lay here and watch all my recorded shows I was too sick for last night until I have seen them all... and then Oprah will get me through this.

Tums - I am not normally a Tum taker but I have discovered the small ones that are sold in a little roll (like Rollos) and I now have an affinity for the berry flavored ones. The instructions say only to take four at a time. I have ignored this. (Also, while on the subject of medicine I just want to mention that Pepto Bismol is THE DEVIL and makes my stomach feel all crazy AND TURNS MY TONGUE BLACK. I woke up yesterday with a black tongue and went to brush my teeth and almost started crying until my roommate calmed me down.)

In conclusion, I am accepting the following from you, my beloved readers: comments about how pretty I am, comments about how I should feel better, comments about how you love me, text messages that make me laugh, text messages asking if you can bring me soup, text messages asking if you can bring me anything in the world including but not limited to cupcakes and obscure DVDs. Contrary to normal times I do not want you to call as I do not want to have to pretend like I’m excited to talk to you (like I usually do), and also my voice is hoarse like a phone sex operator.

This is my blog and I am sick and you have to do what I say today. It’s like my birthday, only with zero cake.

I'm Ready for Pink Feet!

The weather is schizophrenic and it’s making me sad.

We all know I don’t mind cold weather - I am one of those rare Los Angelinos who actually likes wearing her boots and scarves and coats! But apparently when I was in Texas over the weekend, it POURED in LA. Like torrential downpour monsoon poured. Brentwood lost power.

I don’t understand! Literally a week ago, it was the most gorgeous day outside ever. I ran right out and got a pedicure with this:

Essie French Affair

And then came home and fell in love with these online:

Aren’t they gorgeous? They also come in black and yellow, which are super cute too, but obviously I prefer the pink. I love how the bow is grosgrain and the rest of the shoe is patent leather - they actually kind of remind me of a combination of a few different Kate Spade sandals (this one and this one) which both retail for a LOT more money. These are less than $50! I might use that as an excuse to buy two pairs :)

I can’t think of a more perfect spring combination - bright, shiny pale pink polish with a gorgeous pair of hot pink girly sandals. Now it just needs to get warm out outside so I can bring out my new sandals and show off my new pedicure!

Rodeo Girl

Yall. I almost didn’t come home from Texas. It was SO FUN. SO AMAZING. SO SOUTHERN! I fucking love the south. I can’t believe my first rodeo experience is over. Do you want to know all about it?

i saw this sign within seconds of walking into the rodeo and immediately knew it was going to be a great night.

I flew to Dallas on Thursday night. Gerrick picked me up from the airport and after a GREAT DEAL OF SHRIEKING when I finally laid eyes on her engagement ring, she shut me up with a chicken biscuit and a cuddle sesh on the couch. I love when we get to do absolutely nothing but lounge and watch TV – it makes me feel like we’re back in college.

On Friday, we woke up bright and early and headed to the brand new Dallas Drybar to get our hairs did! I got my usual BIG HAIR (everything’s bigger in Texas) and Gerr got gorgeous spirally waves. So pretty! And then we packed our pretty selves into her car and got on the road for a mini road trip to Houston!

We got to Houston and after flinging myself dramatically into Julie’s arms, changed into our “rodeo clothes” in a hurry – no, I did not wear hot pink cowboy boots, but I did wear brown ones generously donated to me by Gerr. And then it was time… off to the rodeo we went!

YALL. OH MY GOD. My Houston friends have always told me about how delicious the food at the rodeo is, but HOLY HELL I was not prepared for this level of fried food-ness. I know I do not need to tell you that within forty-three seconds of arriving I had procured myself a sweet tea and a sausage on a stick. Without you judging me too much, let me just say that by the time the evening was over, the following had also been consumed by the members in our group: corndogs, shrimp on a stick, fried pickles, potato salad, chicken on a stick, a cinnamon bun, and barbequed nachos. YES.

Shortly after consuming these things, I also had the opportunity to watch a baby chick be born, and I got to pet a goat and a small black pig. Literally I was in heaven.

But the food was NOTHING compared to the spectacle that IS the Texas livestock show. Oh my god. I sat in my chair OPEN MOUTHED as I watched the bullriding and the calf scramble and when they got to the mutton bustin’, I swear to you I cried laughing. Do you know what mutton bustin’ is? They basically tie small children to the back of SHEEP and send them racing off a course until the small children FALL OFF into the mud. Holy mother of god, my future children will participate in mutton bustin’ if it’s the last thing I do.

do you SEE the small child clinging to the fucking sheep? i die.

By the time Alan Jackson came on stage, I could care less. I had had my fill of everything rodeo related and I was ready to go…. after snagging one last sweet tea, of course :) We finished the night at a karaoke bar where I drank strawberry beer and sang Sweet Caroline and then we came home and passed out.

Saturday was lovely – we shopped, had a delicious lunch at a fancy shmancy place called Tiny Boxwoods, and cuddled and napped until it was time to get ready for dinner and out. Julie took us to a fun bar where the Jews were holding some Purim party nonsense – Gerrick was devastated that she didn’t remember to bring her Big Bird costume from home (“I SO would have won the costume contest!”) and I was in a delightful mood due to the fact that I was wearing my INSANELY GORGEOUS new red Dolce Vita wedges, which got MANY compliments from the gentlemen at the bar. Win.

At dinner:

Did you know that in Texas, they sell pizza outside of bars? So obviously Julie walked right out of the bar and bought a box, which she promptly brought into our cab and offered to our cab driver. He accepted and thanked her for her pizza generosity (this will be important later). We had a glorious drive home with this cab driver, despite the fact that he did not want to play Cash Cab (we always ask), and upon dropping us off at Julie’s, he gave us his card and we bid him adieu. And then the shenanigans really started…

As soon as we got out of the cab, Joy was holding her credit card and we started playing Suck-N-Blow (game from Clueless… google it.) That turned into a massive amount of drunken giggling, which rapidly turned into Gerrick deciding to climb INTO Julie’s apartment complex fountain. Obviously Julie could not be left out of this, so she climbed in too… and that rapidly turned into a splashing fight and the two of them basically SWIMMING in the fountain.

It’s not such a far leap from swimming in the fountain to JUMPING IN THE POOL, which is what those two rocket scientists did next – cannonballed INTO Julie’s pool at 3:00 in the morning in their bar clothes (Gerrick first made me hold her engagement ring just in case). It was all well and good and wet until Joy and I finally pulled them out of the pool so we could go inside and go to sleep… and then Julie realized she had lost her apartment key.

Cue crying and a slight nervous breakdown and Julie SOAKING WET running through the halls of her apartment complex, leaving little wet footprints everywhere she went. We searched the entire place – the parking lot, the fountain, the fucking pool – the key was nowhere to be found. Just as she had picked up the phone to call the apartment maintenance man, we stumbled upon our cab driver’s card. I called him and asked if the key was in the cab. “HI IT’S THE PIZZA GIRLS IS THERE ANY CHANCE WE LOST OUR KEY IN YOUR CAB?!” I asked frantically… to which he replied “No, no no no no… YES.” HE HAD IT! Julie grabbed the phone and offered him $100 to come back… and he did! CRISIS AVERTED!

In conclusion, always offer your cab driver snacks when you have them :)

Sunday passed way too fast… we woke up late, had brunch (with Alyssa!), ran around the city some more, and then met up with a bunch of fellow Wildcats for the Arizona-Texas game! Let me tell you, nothing makes me happier than sitting in a crowded bar surrounded by friends wearing that big Arizona A cheering and screaming for our team. We’ve talked about how I’m not an insane sports fan before, but even I got caught up in that amazing game… and yes, that was DEFINITELY me who jumped ONTO the actual table and screamed so loud I lost my voice after the buzzer went off and we won. (Don’t judge me. Julie cried.) What a game! So proud of my Wildcats! And so glad I got to watch it with some of my best friends!

All in all, a really fun trip to Texas. I love that state and I love my friends in it… they make me so happy. Someone today called me a “wannabe Southern girl” and let me tell you, I wear that label with pride – the great state of Texas is certainly great! Can’t wait to return in a few weeks!

Off to the Rodeo... YEE HAW!

Today is a MOST SPECIAL DAY.

After EIGHT long years of being friends with my Southern friends, Jordan Marisa Rose is FINALLY going to Texas to experience her first REAL LIVE RODEO!!!!!!

To say I am excited about this is an understatement. For eight long years I have heard nonstop chattering from Julie and Bragman and Greene and Alyssa about how truly amazing the Houston Rodeo is. I have no idea why on earth it’s taken me this long to finally make it out there for one, but last year after GB returned to LA after rodeo-ing it up all weekend, I finally declared “THAT’S IT! 2011 is the year.”

I’m looking forward to wearing these:

And seeing this:

And petting these:

And seeing THIS MAN live in concert:

I leave for Texas tonight, and you can be sure I am counting down the minutes. So SEE YA LATER YALL, this LA girl is off to the great state of Texas for the weekend!!! And at the risk of alienating everyone I know in Los Angeles... YEE HAW! :)

Bring On The Madness!

IT IS MARCH AND THE MADNESS HAS ARRIVED.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then YOU truly are living under a rock, because even I, grand loather of sports, know what major significant sporting event is about to take place...

The 2011 NCAA Tournament. Time to fill out my bracket!

Last year was the very first year that I filled out a bracket. In college, I literally had no idea what anyone was talking about when they talked about “March Madness”, and whenever the boys (um, and Julie) would be glued to the television, I would whine and pout about the “stupid game” being on. But last year I finally got wise and Jacob helped me fill it out... and I won $50 in my office pool!

Lest you think I am a novice at picking out teams, let me please direct you to this here old blog of mine and this link in particular. Once upon a time, way back in like 2007, I had a forty-five second long interest in picking football game winners. One of my guy friends would tell me the teams that were playing, and I would pick who I thought would win based solely on things like whether I liked the name of their team or if I knew anyone from the city where the team was from. Literally, I would say things like “Buffalo is playing Philadelphia... well, I like cheesesteaks better than buffalo wings, so I choose Philadelphia.” Brilliant, I know.

I’m having a bit of deja vu... yesterday, my friend David who takes this tournament and college basketball VERY SERIOUSLY said to me on gchat “Don’t pick based on the colors of their uniforms!” to which I replied “Hasn’t stopped me before, won’t stop me now.”

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is this: I’m filling out my bracket today. I’m taking this tournament very seriously. And I will most likely beat you, since I care not one bit about any team with the exception of my beloved Wildcats, and of course someone like me is going to win, probably against someone like you, who lives/eats/breathes/sleeps college basketball.

Sorry in advance :) Bear down!

I Love LA (I Love It)

I had the nicest morning yesterday. I slept in late and woke up to a text from my friend Ashley asking if I wanted to go to the Brentwood Farmers Market with her and her boyfriend Steve. I pulled on sweats and my bright yellow flipflops and headed out to meet them.

It was beautiful outside - almost 70 degrees with a nice breeze. We walked to and through the farmer’s market, sampling pretzel bread and homemade hummus and St. Patrick’s Day-themed sugar cookies and admiring pretty jewelry and some gorgeous artichokes and a fantastic Dodgers birthday cake. I bought a bouquet of pink and white Gerber daisies (my favorite flower!) and a gorgeous white orchid for my living room. We stood in line at the Greek stand and got delicious kebabs and gyro pitas with fresh squeezed lemonade and sat on the grass and ate our lunch under the sun. I even rolled my sleeves up and got a little bit of a tan on my arms.

It was seriously so nice. One of those perfect LA days that made me so thankful to live where I live. And it reminded me of something that’s been on my mind lately...

I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE HATING ON LOS ANGELES.

In the past few weeks, at least four people (some whose opinions I value and some - like my goddamn San Franciscan cab driver - I could care less about) have yapped my ear off about how much they HATE Los Angeles. And then on Friday I saw the new movie Happythankyoumoreplease, where one of the central story lines revolved around how much some girl DIDN’T want to move to LA because she would “never walk anywhere” or “do anything related to culture” ever again.

What is SO AWFUL about Los Angeles? I get that there’s a lot of traffic and it’s kinda smoggy sometimes and people spend a lot of time in their cars and sometimes the people who live here can be not so nice and kind of fake. But there’s also gorgeous weather year round and unbelievable beaches and some goddamn delicious restaurants and a million cultures living side by side and an entire industry that is solely devoted to providing the people of the country and the world with entertainment.

Los Angeles is like no other city on earth. But that’s what makes it LA! The things that make our cities different are the things that make our cities great. I love - LOVE - Houston and Dallas and Memphis and Austin and Miami and New York and Tucson and Las Vegas and a million other of the places I’ve traveled to because when I’m there, I love doing and seeing and experiencing and soaking up all of the things that I DON’T get to do when I’m home in Los Angeles.

So I’m sorry if I don’t understand the LA hate. I am proud of my city. It’s not for everyone. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a great place.